Have I Done The Right Thing?

My daughter’s friend got her period so she called my daughter as she feeling down, as her mum is away and she and dad is at home.

She has no other family in the area, she got her period for the first time, her mum spoken to her and showed her what to do. My daughter’s friend wanted to speak to me just so I can reassure her as she didn’t feel comfortable telling her dad. So asked her do you know what do and how to use them. She did but she was uncomfortable about what to do. I explained to her how to dispose of them and if there is any mess anywhere just clean it up and don’t stress if you got it on your sheets or towel as that normal.

Just get clean ones also be mindful of when to change them. I did a drive by her house today and said just come to the drive way and say you were getting a book as I put brown paper bags to dispose of the pads and a heat pack incase she needs it and block of chocolate. When we drove by I told her to call me anytime, doesn’t matter if its 11 at night call. I gave her hug I have already organised for a sleep over which isn’t until the end of the week as she needs to look after her siblings as her dad works from home. I can’t message her mum as their phones are all connected so he can see what is happening and I can’t email as the same thing.

I have called another friend’s mum and told her what’s happening just so my daughter’s friend isn’t feeling alone. I find it quite difficult as my daughter is so comfortable telling her dad that she has hers and he just shakes his head but deals with it.

Am I respecting my daughter’s friend by not saying anything to her dad?

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- - Ellen said
  - 02 Jan 2023
    8:52 am
Your daughter’s friends reached out to you and you were there for her, nothing wrong with that. Maybe upon her mums returns she can share with her what happened
- - tinamaree said
  - 29 Aug 2022
    9:35 pm
It doesn’t really matter if her father is uncomfortable about periods (if he has a daughter and a wife, he should really get over that).
She confided in you and you respected it. That’s the right thing to do.
- - CaffimezMom said
  - 25 Jul 2022
    5:33 pm
I don’t think you are crossing a line. TBH most men wouldn’t know what to do in that situation and would just rather ignore. Go you!
- - jenniw said
  - 20 Jul 2022
    4:22 pm
It sounds to be that you are respecting her wishes. I’m sure she (and her mum) will appreciate all you have done.
- - cassy26 said
  - 07 Jul 2022
    10:29 am
You’ve been lovely and I’m sure the parents will appreciate it. Do you have a contact number for the mum at all? If so I’d be giving her a quick call just to let her know what’s going on or maybe suggest that the girl give her mum a call? or even send a message. I know if I was the mum I would want to know and then she can make the decision on whether to tell the Dad or not.
- - Kiwimum said
  - 05 Jul 2022
    8:32 pm
I don’t see any issue! I think that’s so lovely of you.
As others have said, I would just call/ ask the mum to call you so she’s in the loop.
- - Jessica said
  - 05 Jul 2022
    7:41 pm
While it’s a good idea for him to know if her mum is away, that’s her choice, not yours. I would have done the same thing and talk to her about how she could tell her dad. I would have been mortified if someone told my dad (I’m almost certain my mum did but he never said a word to me)
- - BellaB said
  - 04 Jul 2022
    6:48 pm
You absolutely did the right thing. She needed a trusted, supportive adult, and you provided that. Congratulations. Some men don’t cope well with talking about periods, so I can understand why his daughter might not want to raise it with him. But do make sure you have a chat with her Mum when she comes home.
- - mom93821 said
  - 04 Jul 2022
    5:16 pm
All parents regardless of gender should be able to manage periods and provide support.
- - mom160289 said
  - 04 Jul 2022
    11:21 am
I would message the mum and ask her to call you. Don’t need to tell her the reason in the message.