Hello!

Working full time, I find it so difficult to keep in top of the housework. Between my son who is 10 and husband the house never stays clean for long so I lose motivation to keep it clean! I’m always asking them to clean up and help with chores but it barely happens (until I lose it and yell) My question is how do I get them to help around the house without constantly nagging? I am currently 31 weeks pregnant also so cleaning and having the energy to clean lately is a massive struggle.


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  • As annoying as it is, I think you may just have to tell them what you need done, and when, to get the assistance you need. Whilst these things are of high importance to you, they do not appear to be for them and unless you remind/ prompt them to help they’ll likely not help you.


  • Sit them down and talk it through. Each should have jobs they are responsible for.


  • I would sit them down and explain how your feeling and if that doesnt work I would stop doing all there things until they start helping. No washing there dishes or washing there clothing. It’s whether you can handle that mess sitting around ????


  • Write a schedule for them to clean certain places on certain days so it’s more laid out for them!


  • I would suggest a good around the table chat, in my opinion everyone should play their part. Also explain that now you’re pregnant, or when you have your baby, you do need their support and share how this impacts you and how they can help.


  • Depending on the chores you could try hiding something of theirs they like so that they’ll only find it from completing the chore (eg hide an ipad in the pile of washing)


  • My friend had this problem she went on strike and stopped cleaning, then when the house looked like a bomb she invited someone over whose opinion her husband valued. He was so embarrassed, he now cleans fairly regularly. A bit Petty, but it worked. I am sorry that wanting to support you isn’t reason enough for your husband to pitch in.


  • That sounds annoying.. since your pregnant maybe use pregnancy pains as an excuse and see if they start doing things.. or just let them live in their mess.. or go stay at your parents and let them fend for themselves.. or make them seem like they’re so useless compared to others..

    I hope you find a way to get them to help you.. that’s not fair at all!


  • Go on strike.
    Clean what you use and let them deal with the rest.


  • Unfortunately some people don’t have the same values on cleanliness as they find other things more important. Also if you are both working then chores should be shared equally. Encourage your 10 year old to help with tasks daily to help get into a routine for life. Nagging may seem annoying but tell them you wouldn’t have to nag if they helped you in the first place without asking. The saying if you want things done properly to do them yourself shouldn’t apply because you will run yourself into the ground. Good luck


  • Congrats on your pregnancy! You must be exhausted still working full time and not getting any help. Honestly I’d try sitting everyone down and just explaining how tired you are and that you need some help (sometimes you really need to spell it out) and then actually give them set things that they can help you with. I find that sometimes people just don’t know what you need ( and they don’t think ) unless you actually put it to them in black and white… Let them know you are struggling and give them specific jobs to do..


  • I’m 31 weeks also, congratulations. I would love to know this also, I might try like visuals notes around. Wash your plate ect


  • Teach them consequences. Often people don’t realise what we do until we don’t do it! If your son doesn’t out his uniform in the wash, don’t go looking for it. He can either wear it dirty or go without. If he complains tell him it wasn’t in the wash! My 8 year old has been folding her own clothes for more than a year now, as she was just throwing clean stuff in the wash to avoid putting it away. Tell your son that he has until say 4pm to unload and put away the dishes or he loses out on privileges. Set up a chores list and delegate jobs. It’s hard. I am constantly nagging and yelling at my kids to do stuff and occasionally my husband too…. though in our house my husband works full time and I am home with the youngest. But making and attending appointments, doing therapy sessions with my youngest, running errands, cooking, dishes and washing are all my full time jobs. Everyone else is expected to help out (hang washing, unload dishwasher etc). I live in chronic pain and am currently pregnant myself, so I get instantly mad when I do clean and someone messes it up. I literally kill my body doing things and they don’t think twice before dumping and running


  • I talk to my husband to come up with set jobs we each do so one if us isn’t left with all the work.


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