You are doing the right thing. Your first priority is to your child and I don’t understand why your mother cannot see that. You are entitled to stand your ground on this matter.

You are doing the right thing. You are putting your child’s welfare first. Stand your ground. Your mother is being very unfair – you have offered reasonable compromises.

I wouldn’t be comfortable leaving my child with them. If your mum babysat at your house, without hubby, ok. But you’ve said that won’t happen. You need to explain why it’s a no to your mum. She’ll be hurt, but deep down I’m sure she’ll understand

It has been years ago since you posted your question and I wonder how things are going now. Have things settled with your mum and is there more understanding or did you take distance ?

That is a difficult situation.
However personally I wouldn’t be too afraid.
From working in the field for over 20 years as a psychiatric nurse, I know that research has shown that people receiving effective treatment for a mental illness are no more violent or dangerous than the rest of the population. People with a mental illness are more likely to harm themselves – or to be harmed – than they are to hurt other people. A person with schizophrenia is far more likely to die by suicide than they are to harm someone else, let alone children.

I think most moms here agree with you. You have to put your child first and if you aren’t comfortable then don’t do it. There are some really great pieces of advice I’ve read below so I’ll just say I hope it gets better for all of you. It sounds like a difficult and stressful situation.

Wow. I’m sorry to read your situation but I absolutely agree with you. Mental illness can be a very scary thing. In light of Rosie Batty’s story, I’d be inclined to do the same thing. Don’t feel bad for doing what you see as right or protecting your son. Your mum is making the decision to prioritise her husband and what he says first. She might be fearful of him too but not admit it. Maybe seek some support from fommunity mental health. But trust your gut and if she wants to participate in your son’s life, it has to be on your terms as you’re his mum!

Be as honest as possible with her, she needs to come around and if she doesn’t try not to stress. Do what is right for bubba

You are doing the right thing, you are your child’s voice and you need to put him first. You are also not saying she can not see him but its on your terms.

Yes definitely doing the right thing, there is no way you should feel guilty for telling your mum that you are not comfortable with your son being at their house. Your mums husband should be the one that feels bad that he is stopping your mum from having a relationship with you and your son when it is his outbursts that are the root of the problem. If your mum can’t see that you are only putting the best interests of your son first then maybe there is an issue of hers there

I’m sorry you’re in this position, but the answer seems easy to me. No way should you leave your son there. His welfare should be your main concern and if anything did happen it would be terrible. I would explain to your mum , but if she refuses to listen, I would tell her that you won’t change your mind and she will just have to accept it.All the best in this difficult situation.

Definitely for sure!!

stand your ground – a small tantrum can easily blow up into violence. rather than saying you can’t have him at her house maybe make up a reason for her to have to look after your son somewhere else or invite her along to somewhere you are going to see him. make it seem like you want her to come with you to say the shopping centre, or the playground and if she needs to babysit find a group that she “has” to take him to like a playgroup or similar. I hope it works out for you. It is hard and parents always think they know best.

You are Doing the right thing!

I think you are doing the right thing. I would have the same concerns.

I think you only want protect you son, nothing wrong with your decision.

It is a horrible situation, but i would be doing the same thing! your son is the most important thing in this all!

well if you need someone to come to you and your mum wont, then you need to look at other options

I really feel for you and your situation, your son is your first priority and if your mum does not understand , then she will have to reassess her own situation. It sounds as if her new husband likes to control things.You need to build yourself a good circle of girlfriends who also have small children this way you may find that you and these other mums can help each other out when a situation of a babysitter is needed. By choosing your own friends you will be looking for the qualities in these people that you think are important , and you will be comfortable about these people being in your sons life. Your peace of mind and your sons safety become before all else, whether your mum likes it or not.

I would be doing the same thing. You are doing what you need to to protect your lo… Speak to your mother about your concerns if she isn’t seeing them herself.