You are doing the right thing. Even if he doesn’t intend harm to your child, it sounds like it could happen accidentally. It is very unfair of your mother not to recognise this.

You are doing what your instinct is telling you – to protect your child. Sounds like you are trying very, very hard to accommodate your mother and her husband but it’s just not quite working for you. Witnessing, as an adult, someone having a psychotic episode is distressing, so imagine the effect it could have on a child. Perhaps you could see a counsellor or GP to help with ideas on how to handle the situation? All the best…

As a parent, your first concern is your childs safety.
As a child, your second concern is hurting your mothers feelings.
There has been some good advice given here.
Coming from a family full of mental illness I fully understand your concerns.
Firstly you need to find out what type of Schizophrenia he has and how bad it is.
Then see your GP and discuss it with him.
Most, not all, but most Schizohenics are only harmful wo themselves and not others.
This is why it is important to find out more about his disease and discuss with your GP.
And maybe you can get your mum to open up about it by asking her questions about how she deals with it, ask her to talk about it with you more so you can understand him better.

I would be vary weary of your little one around this person. You cant get your baby back if something bad happens because your mums husband has an episode, your priority is your baby, not your mum

Sometimes you have to weigh up which is worse – hurting a family members feelings, or insuring your childs safety. I was in a similar situation, and decided the family member was an adult and could handle it as I was not risking my little one.

In this whole awful situation you know exactly what is important and your intuition is100% justified

You are absolutely right in your feelings. He is YOUR son and his safety IS paramount, not the feelings of your stepfather or even your mother if she chooses not to recognise the dangers that can occur with these outbursts. If your mother cannot or will not come to your place when you need her – you may have to seek other trustworthy alternatives. You could ask her to go to counseling with you so that you can get your point across in a nicer setting and see if she understands your feelings more. It’s not fair that you have to feel like the bad guy and held hostage to their household. Good luck.

The best thing you can do is to have a chat with your GP, Schizophrenia can be controlled and it is important that people are seen for who they are first not just their condition, your mum would be sure to protect you son, remember that !

there are some good comments here

she just wants to be there and be a good mum

What a tough situation, so very hard. I think you are doing the right thing, it does not sound like a safe situation for your son to be in, nor your mum for that matter. I’d stick to my guns and not let my son be looked after at her house. Incredibly difficult to enact I know. Remind your mum that you love her, and want her to be a part of your son’s life, but you set the boundaries on your own terms to ensure his safety and wellbeing. He comes first. Do you have other family members that you can ask for help about the situation? Siblings or Aunts or Uncles that you can ask for advice? You could also get some brochures from your doctor about mental health issues to pass on to your mum to read. It also sounds like your mum’s husband is being controlling beyond reasonable means, regardless of mental health issues. This could be a domestic and/or emotional abuse situation. Helplines such as ReachOut.com and domestic violence helpline 1800 800 098 can help you with some advice on if it is a cause for concern. Good luck.

she just wants to be a good mum

Could it be she is just desperate to be involved more in your life?

This is a very sad situation for everyone involved especially your son. He is missing out on some great opportunities with his grandmother. It may seem a bit drastic but maybe you should consider getting some professional help so that everything can be aired in an open and neutral environment.

Any normal person would see where you are coming from. I do feel bad for your mum because she can’t have what every grandparent wants, but it’s not like you are making an easy decision. This is a very tough one. When it comes down to it, it’s not about your mum or her husband, it’s about the child. He may not be in physical danger but the emotional stress would not be good for him.

Have you thought of having a sleep over but letting your mum be In charge of your son and maybe just hangout in the spare room. That ways your there if anything happens.

As a parent, you know what’s best for your child. I think your doing the right thing. I wouldn’t want my own children in that kind of situation where I wasn’t there with them. If your mum can’t put your child’s well being before that of her partners then I wouldn’t let her have him on their own without you either.