Firstly, I woüldnt be moving in with him any time soon, he’s not stable enough mentally for it to be safe for you or your kids.

I am sorry you are going through DV as it is a very complex and difficult situation . It is natural for you to want to help as he is still your spouse and father to the kids. I would strongly advise you to ring a DV hotline first as it is anonymous and they can advise you what to do . We all have tempers but none of us deserve DV of any sort and to be in any dangerous situation . Your husband needs psychological help immediately so perhaps ring Lifeline and see if they can advise further and perhaps think about seeking help from a women’s refuge/church group etc if you think the situation can get out of hand. God bless .

Really good advice given in the comments section!

Hire a hitman. Joke. But stuff him take your kids and go because when he hurts one of them or one of them get hurt trying to help you it will be your fault.

Try talk to your family and dr for advice

you need to get out of there firstly and then tell him over the phone that he should get help before you come back

you need to think of you and yoru kids, if he harms himself it is not your fault

there is nothing you can do for him, other than support him.

You have to help yourself before you can help others. If he is going to be difficult/aggressive or violent, I wouldn’t want the kids to be anywhere near him!

As much as you want to help him, you can’t help him unless he wants to help himself. And no matter what he says or does, YOU ARE NOT responsible for anything he does or says. You cannot make or cause him to do anything – he is an adult and makes his own choices. Starting out on your own can be intimidating and scary, but you have to put yourself and your kiddies first. If you have a safe place to go, get the hell out and protect yourself and your kids by removing yourself from a dangerous situation. And depending on the kiddies ages, tell them that Daddy isn’t well at the moment, but that he and you still love them more than anything, and you just need some time away until Daddy gets better. Put yourself and your children’s needs first, no matter what. I wish you well.

there are some good comments here

should try getting out maybe talk to family and doctors to help

to be honest i would get out of there.

Been there done that, your health and your kids’ safety are paramount, you can’t help him until he decides to help himself. I know moving and starting again and being a single parent is hard but at least you’ll be in control and free from the constant worry of violence. Find a supportive Domestic Violence Worker and follow her advice. Be proud of yourself for coping until now and remember that neither you nor your kids deserve to live in fear…hope this helps…take care xxx

Protect your kids from this, it is not healthy for you or them.

I think u need to stay clear of him. He sounds like he doesn’t want help, unfortunately. Do what is best n safe for your kids n u

Some good advice there below.

Thanks to everyone for your support and answers. I just thought I’d give you a little update. Although previously against the idea I have been put on a low dose antidepressant which makes me feel slightly better about my health and life situation. I decided to go back to counselling after 4/5 years to get tips on how to look after myself better and have boundaries. The week after I started my session, hubby went on a drinking/acid binge and called me after trying unsuccessfully to hang himself. (He believed his friends wished him dead) Instantly my health started to go bad so I decided to tell him although I love and care about him the kids and I can’t keep being tortured like this and next time I will simply call an ambulance. (My poor children are back to fighting, feeling anxious, having nightmares, being clingy and wanting to sleep with me and feeling scared of the dark etc and with it being a few days away from school, feeling nervous about that too.) I organised him to go to the doctor and I attended to make sure he told the truth. She gave him some welcomed truthful advice, referring him to the right people and some numbers for me to use when I feel hopeless or unsure. We are made a follow up appointment with her again. He has also been contacted by mental health to organise some counselling of his own. In the meantime I will just try to be a good person to myself and my kids and try to support him without doing it all for him.

Follow chooks advice,can’t offer any better or right advice then that,

Sweetheart your husband needs help and unfortunately you cant help him, you need to focus on yourself and your children, getting yourself better is your main focus so you can provide the loving happy household your children and you deserve. Your husband removed hiself from that life the day domestic violence entered your life. His reaction and consequant actions to this situation is unacceptable and proof to you hes not going to man up and look after his family. You are not responsible for him or his actions, he is. Wishing you andyour children all the best for the future stay strong.