In your house you can set the rules. So when he is at your place you certainly can tell him no running or no touching this or that please. When he trashes your son’s room, you certainly tell “I’m happy for you guys to have fun, but I also would like you to tidy before you leave” . When toys aren’t treated with respect, I would certainly take them away and tell “we treat our belongings with respect”. When he’s too loud, you could say in general “guys, soft voice please”.
When you do these things with mum around she get’s already a hint. Then you could wait for a bit and bring it openly up in a conversation. Alternatively, you could catch up in a park or other neutral please and steer away from home

I’d love to know how you handled this situation.

You could try talking, but it seems it might be an uphill battle. It may come to you having to asker her to not bring her child to visit anymore

I agree with the MoMs who have said you have to be honest with the boy’s mother and tell her how you feel.

If you’re friends, a quiet chat about things could help. A lot if people don’t like being criticised for their parenting tho, so it could go awol. You have to decide which you want, you say you’re nearly at the stage if not wanting her to visit anymore, so the chat might be a better way of achieving this

tell her how you feel!! my boy is also a nightmare and its affected a lot of my friendships .no one wants to come over or meet for play dates as he is too rough. don’t make up excuses. people want the truth and they want advice. she may need some help.

Sometimes, unfortunately, you have to be honest. Tell your Family member that you and your husband have rules in the house and you would appreciate it if your Family member would back you up on the discipline of their child. It’s your house, it’s your rules. That’s the thing with some parents, it’s easier for someone else to do the ‘Bad Guy’ thing. Even saying to the person, ‘I’d appreciate it if you could make sure he stops hurting my child.’ After all, you are a Mumma Bear wanting to protect your child. No child should get away with hitting and hurting other children. No matter what the other parent thinks!

Be patient and goodluck.x

I would speak directly to the child, try saying something along the lines of “hey buddy we dont do that in this house, we like to be gentle and respectful” It hard, some women have blinkers on!

don’t have her come and visit anymore. You go to her place instead.

Has he been diagnosed with anything? This sounds like aspergers or a reaction to preservatives, additives and colours in foods which ive seen cause behaviour like that. Very compulsive behaviour.

It’s sad but I can totally relate

Tell his mother and if his behaviour continues you should put a stop to his visits

I would be honest. If u don’t u might just avoid and never talk to them much again

dont ask them over. meet them in a public place like a park or coffee shop

tell the mother how you feel

I’d be completely honest and explain that you’re not comfortable with his behaviour in your house and you may have to limit your interactions to parks and the like if it doesn’t change.

I agree be honest and tell her how you feel.

You need to be honest to your friend and explain it to her.

Such a difficult situation, but I agree with everyone else, you need to find a way to let your family know that their sons behaviour is not appreciated in your home. Good luck.