I feel your pain. I’m not happy either but have no idea what I want or need to change to be happy.

I’m sorry you’re feeling like this, I hope things have improved for you. It’s okay not to have all the answers right now. If you ever feel comfortable, consider reaching out to friends or family for support. Taking small steps to prioritize your own well-being might make a difference.

Hope things have improved. When not I would consider some family counseling

Sorry to hear. I hope things have improved now since you posted.

Would you like to sit down with all of them and find the middle way which both of them, kids and Dad to make up? It something , I believe, kids have been keeping inside and also the Dad.
Make sure you are not picking any side and all of them have to be calm when explain their problems. There must be a way for it. Maybe try a holiday just you and your husband or the kids and dad alone and then family holiday one day.

Sounds like you may have a form of depression? A psych can help with that (def not a counsellor).

Sounds like no one is happy, sadly. Are you at least getting some me time? That would be a start at least? Something to look forward to.

Do you ever get to do anything just for you? A night away each month so you can rest and reset. I hate all the things I can’t do anymore cos we have bub, and hubby still gets to do all his extra stuff. I know you said counselling isn’t for you, but someone to talk to is probably a good idea even if its just informal. Hubby and I has discussed what things I need to keep my sanity, I have a weekly pilates class and he looks after bub and he has to do all the swimming lessons,

It sounds like you need your own interest. That could give you some space and joy away from your family. Even if it is joining a coffee group or walking regularly with a friend. Something that is yours. If your family involves you in their arguments and you feel stuck in the middle, set some boundaries. Tell them that it is not your battle and to talk to the other person. I know you said that counselling isn’t for you. I feel like that about counsellors too. I went through heaps until I found one that I really felt that I could connect with. If you still don’t want to see someone, maybe try watching self help videos on youtube. There are some amazing short videos out there. Look up things with key words ‘motivational’ ‘relax’ ‘meaning’. See where the internet takes you. It may also be worth visiting your GP and doing a K10 test to see if you are experiencing depression. GPs can be a great source of support too. Remember Beyond Blue has a great website and Lifeline are just a call away if you are feeling in crisis. 13 11 14 You will be okay

I am so sorry to hear about your struggles. It sounds like the kids and dad need to be more open and communicate with each other rather than dump it all on you. Do you take any time out for yourself? Treat yourself to some nice things, have time out for you
Whether it be going to a coffee shop for a cuppa and reading a book, going to a gym class or a local rec centre and siting in the sauna, walking around the shops etc? It’s important to take time out for you and look after you otherwise I have found life just gets too much sometimes and it can be hard to get out of the rut. Good luck, I hope you find something to help you

I’ve been in a very similar situation end of last year. The answer is you need to talk to your partner. Even if it’s hard and you don’t want to hurt, he needs to know how you feel. He should be your confidante. You also need to have a break from things, have a weekend away with a girl friend or on your own and have a breather.

I think you need to take some time out to pamper yourself. You must be drained being pulled like that and having to cater to everyone. Also, a one on one talk with dad and children to reconcile the differences might help

I think the dad and children have to talk to each other and you step away from it. Keeping secrets never helps, and it just makes your life miserable. Maybe they all need the counselling?

I feel for you, in many occasions and in many years.
It feels like it’s day in and out doing the same thing all over and over again and again, no spark no excitement in life… You might be BURNED OUT from what you are doing for the family.
Do you have any interests that you had but given up after start the family?
Take time to revisit those interests (mine is photography) and bring it back to your life start from small portion.
Don’t forget the TIME for yourself, your own ME TIME, however is for you.

I know you say counselling isn’t for you, but It sounds like there needs to be some family counselling (not just one individual ) and it’s more of a devils advocate to help mediate things to fix some of the issues, there is obviously things that are bothering both sides, and the only way to solve things is to talk about it, look into having a councillor talk to you all as a family and have an open and honest conversation about things, get the kids to write a letter to their dad (give them a hand if they need bud do not tell them not to put things in the letter. Let them be 100% honest with their dad so he knows what is going on).

See if you can find some time to yourself, no kids, no husband. Even if it is an hour a week. Make it your time. Is there a way you can get the kids and you husband bonding again? They sound disconnected from each other. Maybe a sit down round table meeting is needed. Even if you get someone to mediate. Hang in there, life is worth living.

I think you need a little break with just the kids. Not sure how old they are but time alone with them may help you see you can do this alone and the kids really need you. Counselling didn’t help with me either but a getaway did. It woke me up to see there is a happier life away from my now Ex.

We all go through something similar during our child raising years. Sometimes it feels like you are the only one doing anything (and usually you are) If your marriage is stable and there is no hatred between you and your husband, sit down and talk to your husband. Really talk not gloss over things. He might not be aware of what you are feeling/going through. If you keep things bottled up inside you it will destroy you and your relationship with your husband and kids. You don’t say how old your kids are. I am assuming they are either teens or getting close to it because they are whinging about their dad. Sit the kids down and tell them to work out their problems with their dad, tell them you are not a counsellor and are not getting paid to sort their problems out. It sounds harsh YES but if you continue on this merry go round, you will either walk away from your marriage, your kids or both or do something stupid which could have dire consequences. I hope this helps to get things sorted and you can relax and have some time doing what you want to do

I’d be telling the kids to deal with who they are dealing with that you don’t want to hear it and to go sort it out with there dad. I’d tell dad the same to go sort it out with the kids. Then call a family meeting telling them you want them to stop whinging and whining to you. Ask them to try be kind to each other and get along. As soon as they start whinging tell them to stop whinging and go figure it out with there dad. Step away from there issues. Do things that make you happy can you go somewhere else watch a TV show or read a book, take a bath, walk a dog. But you need to try help dad figure the kids out are they all being respectful to each other? If not talk to dad try help him with it. A happy house will make a happy life. Are the kids spoilt? Kicking up everytime there is a no? Like what’s the problem with dad and the kids?

Reading your story I still think family / system therapy could help you all find your way as from what you describe your partner and children aren’t happy either