Hello!

In the past 10 years I have lost my Mother and then my Father both had Dementia and had to put them into a Nursing Home which was so hard to do at the time, Now a few years on I still some days find myself just feeling sad and keep thinking of them I don’t know how to get over this grief I am carrying around still.


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  • Only time can heal things. Maybe try to focus on things you enjoy and do more of it. Sometimes people go to church to
    Worship and if they have a faith/religion to focus on they feel more supported if this makes any sense. Even volunteering can make a difference and be a big confidence boost!


  • Think of the happy memories. How they’d be watching over you and smiling down on you. I have a angel ornament in my daughters room. When I look at it I like to think of my mum near. I visit her memorial and talk to her. I blow kisses to her photo on the wall and tell her I miss her. I like to sing. I know she’d want me happy. I don’t think grief disappears. But you can fondly remember your parents with smiles at the memories celebrate there life instead.


  • Acknowledge your pain. Accept that grief can trigger many different and unexpected emotions. Understand that your grieving process will be unique to you. Seek out face-to-face support from people who care about you.
    One of the challenges of transitioning a parent, loved one or spouse into full-time residential aged care is the feeling of guilt. However, if you know in your heart you were making the right decision, it’s important you find a way to overcome nursing home guilt.


  • Dementia is a harder type of grief, because it is complex from watching the decline and caring for them for so long, even before you lose them. Are you religious at all? Even if you are not, have you considered exploring what the existence of God might mean in this situation?


  • It’s never going to be easy. They’re your parents so losing one after the other is going to hurt


  • You don’t ever get 9ver losing a loved one. You just learn to live without them….eventually


  • Grief isn’t something that goes away, you dont just get over grief. It’ll be with you forever. It might get easier but there will always be sad times


  • Talking about things with the right people can help. maybe trying some professional help. i have found the more that i have spoken about those whom have passed, the easier it has been to deal with.


  • I truly think that speaking to a grief counsellor could be hugely helpful for you.


  • I am sorry to hear. Have you thought about joining a grief support group or seeing a grief counselor?

    Otherwise you can find a new hobby, join a class/group (exercise, art etc)


  • So sorry for your loss. I know that there are places where you can go and talk about anything you want with people who really care. The Salvation Army and St Vincent De Paul Society offer these services. If you have free time I have spent time at both places as a volunteer at their Opportunity Shops where I have met so many lady friends. We have a fun time and we have our lunches together where we solve the World matters so to speak. Filling the day with that time you use to by visiting your parents at the Nursing Home with a charity is really rewarding. I joined a program with both charities over many years now where I visit a Nursing Home and visit with people who never get visitors, we become friends and we walk and talk and we attend their exercise classes etc. I have taken them out and we shop and have a coffee out of the Nursing Home if they are capable of doing so. You might like to do this sort of volunteering as it is so rewarding and fills your day with a purpose. You might even double your friendship group.


  • Time heels everything


  • I’m sorry to hear. All I can say is let time be the healer. When you find yourself feeling sad, just try and think of a good memory of them instead.


  • I am so sorry for your losses. It must be terribly difficult losing two people you were so close to, so close together. I have always found that it helps to talk about it. Don’t let the memory of them die. Maybe you have some family that you could get together with and discuss some happy memories?


  • I am so sorry for your loss and the difficult journey you have been through with your parents. Grieving the loss of loved ones, especially when they had dementia and you had to make tough decisions like putting them into a nursing home, can be incredibly challenging and overwhelming. It is completely natural to still feel sadness and have moments where you think about them years later.

    Grief is a personal and ongoing process, and it does not have a set timeline. It is important to allow yourself to feel your emotions, even if they are painful, and to be kind and patient with yourself as you navigate through this difficult time.

    Remember that you are not alone in your feelings, and it is okay to reach out for help and support. Take each day as it comes, and know that healing from grief is a gradual process that takes time and self-care. Your parents would want you to take care of yourself and find peace and joy in your life. You deserve compassion and love as you navigate through this difficult journey.


  • There is no time line for grief. But if you feel it is affecting you making day to day decisions I think you would definitely benefit from seeking some help. Your GP will be able to refer you for help. Take care of yourself.


  • If it’s affecting your day to day life you may need to speak to your Doctor. It does get easier over time. They’d want you to enjoy life so live it and keep yourself occupied.


  • A GP should be a able to help with support and referral to services that support people with grief.


  • Professional support can be helpful with grief.


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