I would avoid the use of “real” and “unreal”. At that age, he might take a while to become comfortable with the new situation. I’d use “biological”, “non-biological” and perhaps “family of choice”. Over time he will probably stop making these distinctions.

I think these things can take a bit of time. As he gets older he should have a better understanding of it

Jus make him feel welcome. He will get it in the end.

So many great ideas here.

I think it will just take time.

It will take time best of luck

11 years old don’t need sugar coating, explain you are in this for the long haul and would love the opportunity to share all your family with him as they would love to have him around. Remind him it’s his choice and it would be sad to let all those people go. And the diagram and an explanation of how everyone fits in would help!

A diagram is a good idea to map things out visually if its not quite sinking in verbally.

life can get very complicated can’t it?

try a diagram of a family tree, but explain a family tree FIRST

definatly a family tree its hard for kids to understand gets very confusing

It will take time. At the moment to him they are not His real family and this is true but over time he will learn to accept them.

I like the idea of a family tree to explain it visually.

the family tree diagram is a great way to establish family ties, and its something they can have and hold on to if they need confirmation in the future

How about making a family tree and explaining it?

I wouldn’t make abig deal about it & she how things go, if the dynamics need adjusting deal with it then. Sometimes we worry about stuff before it happens, I am guilty of this. Just see how things go, you never know, he may thrive by it

I think a diagram is a great idea as another person said with like a family tree and branches

I would use the term biological and also mention adoption – even tho someone is adopted and they arent the biological parents they are still loved and they are the real parents

they will understand as they get older, just be honest and try not to lie to them just to spare their feelings, a bit harsh but the sooner they know the easiest they accept things. i’m also a step mum to a 10 yr old and we try to be honest and ask her how she feels about things.

The reality is that this might be coming from his own mother. As much work as you put in it might be contradicted by what his mother is saying to him. Just love them and include them as much as possible and hopefully they will understand and accept their new family as they get older