Hello!

My daughter is 5 years old and prior to the school holidays being over, she was sleeping in her bed every night and all night, we had moved away from nappy pants and was sleeping all night without wetting the bed in underwear.

Since school has gone back, my daughter will only wear a nappy to bed, she won’t sleep in her bed at night and will only sleep with me in my bed. I use to encourage her and offer her a reward at the end of the week if she was able to do all these things and that worked and she successfully transitioned to no nappy and sleeping all night without me in her bed prior to the school holiday’s being over. I have tried talking to her and asking her what has changed but all i get is i just want my mummy and she cries. I have tried encouraging her with rewards, I have tried the tough love and nothing is working. I am struggling to work out what I should do and how to move past this and am so worried this is going to happen after every school holidays now.

I don’t know what to do as I am not getting a very good sleep and am feeling drained. Has anyone been through this before, does anyone have any tips or tricks that could help me.


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  • I’m guessing there’s something going on with school, as the behaviour only restarted when school did


  • I wouldn’t worry too much about it until after she has returned to school and then see what happens. That’s the time for extra help being considered, not now.


  • I think counselling would be a good idea. It’s not normal behaviour and you definitely need to get to the bottom of the cause. Hope everything’s okay with her.


  • Get her to see a counsellor – seperation anxiety is certainly coming to mind.


  • She’s only little, sounds like she just needs Mummy. Maybe you could try putting her back in her own bed once she is asleep?


  • It sounds as if she is experiencing some separation anxiety. Five is still pretty little, so wanting her Mummy sounds quite normal. Focus on making her home and you as safe places. She needs you a bit more now. If she starts from a place of security, she’ll have more fortitude to face her days with confidence.


  • I can empathise with you because my daughter is going through the same thing with my grandson. He’ll be 6 soon and she’s always had him in her bed because she was travelling in a caravan and there was only one bed. But now he’s going to school (she was home schooling) he’s getting anxious too. He’s sleeping in his own bed when little friends stay but then wiggles his way back into her bed. I think he’s too old but she thinks every child develops at their own pace and shouldn’t be forced. So you have 2 different aspects here. I would put him in his own bed and put up with the crying etc for a night or two but my daughter would allow him to jump in with her until he’s ready. I think because she’s had you to herself over the holidays it’s a bit daunting going back to school. But once she’s into the school criteria she should be fine. It’s up to you which road you take. Everyone has different views.


  • Sometimes after a holiday wherein you spend a lot of time together it’s hard to go back to school and seperate again.
    I would approach this situation with empathy.
    Personally I wouldn’t make a big deal about wearing a nappy pantz, she’s still young and it won’t last for ever.
    Instead of having her with you in your bed, you could make a compromise and put her on a mattrass on the floor in your room. The mattrass you could move gradually towards the door


  • Try talking to her teacher – maybe something happened at school that gave her a fright?


  • Sounds like your daughter might be experiencing some back-to-school anxiety. Focus on providing extra comfort and reassurance right now – routines and rewards can come later. Could you try a special bedtime story or a calming activity together before bed?


  • My Darling Gran always used to say “With every situation stop and think will I be happy to do this for years to come and if the answer is NO then dont. Start as you mean to go on” best advice ever.

    Perhaps you need to take her to a child psychologist to unearth whats going on.


  • what about camping on the floor in her room for a night to see you can take steps to ease her back into her room. She might just be going through a stage of needing some more connection with you. So hard if they are not able to clearly explain why they think they may be needing it.


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