Please help M.o.M,
my just turned 3 year old boy hates me. He is happier with absolutely anyone else. He smacks me, screams at me and tells me that he doesn’t love me. Sometimes he doesn’t even like me near him. He is not like this with anyone else and he used to love me the most. I don’t know what went wrong and it is hurtful to be around him Sometimes. I try and show him positive happy behaviour but it doesn’t work. Has anyone else dealt with this? because nothing works for me .

Want more real mum questions sent to you?

You'll need to check this email to complete your signup.
  • He knows that he can act this way and you will still love him. Just dont react. Dont act hurt or defensive. Just say “Oh thats sad but I love you and always will”

  • This is so normal for a 3 year old. Stay consistent with him, show him you still love him and you will both get through this phase. It’s really tough

  • I think this is just a phase. They love to make choices and they love to reject what others want for them. And rejecting one of their parents is one of the ways they can exercise control and show their power. It’s part of the personality/identity development.
    Another perspective is that it’s precisely because a child feels secure in his mother’s presence — she is typically the primary caregiver – and love that he pushes boundaries and meltdowns. Studies show that tantrums are related to levels of anxiety felt by the child, and mom can calm that anxiety.
    Some tips/strategies that may help;
    Pick your fights. Battle your 3-year-old over every bad behavior and you’ll be at war all day. …
    Practice prevention. Use your knowledge of your child to head off needless blowups. …
    Stay calm. …
    Listen carefully. …
    Explain your rules. …
    Offer choices !! Very important (so they feel they have some control)
    Provide alternatives.

  • It is so hard but they do love you

  • This is almost certainly a phase. I think you’re doing the right thing in trying to stay positive and happy and not reacting in his presence.

  • I think that generally this is because you are a discipline, the tough, the task master etc. Don’t let your emotions in (as hard as it is) I say to my children “that’s okay because mummy still loves you” etc.

  • My son went through a tiny stage of this and so did my daughter. I think they are just so used to you that other people seem funner. I found that when my son had fun with other people, and seemed like he liked them more, when he hurt himself or was tired, he called out for me haha. So that made me feel better. Just be there for them :) and take a few opportunities to play with em to show you love them.

  • I went through this with my youngest when he was around that age. It hurt but I just ignored it and pretended he was saying he loved me. I’ve always been led to believe that you hurt the ones you love the most and my son is very loving and does everything for me he possibly can now. Just keep telling him you love him. Could it be possible that he’s scared of losing you and is trying to protect himself from that happening? Stay strong

  • I don’t think he hates you, this is just moments they have. My little one went through loving me, then hubby and now just wants nanny. You just need to insist and be patient. Maybe also look at the benefits of it (or having your own time) :)

  • This would feel awful. It is so hard to love them at times, but hang in there. It will be yet another stage.

  • Did u talk to your gp or baby nurse?

  • He will be alright. Just give him happy cuddle and always talk to him.

  • I agree he doesn’t hate you, he just goes through a stage and it will pass

  • I’m soo sorry, that must be incredibly difficult. Maybe he feels that he can lash out on you because he knows that he will get unconditional love no matter what? It may help if someone else calls on his behaviour on your behalf though and day that it is hurtful and not nice. At three he will understand this.

  • Has something changed recently where you are not around as much? Sometimes kids can act this way as a way when they are not sure how to deal with a change, so they push you away. I’m sure you are still the one he loves the most despite what he says.

Post your reply
Add a photo
Your MoM account

Lost your password?

Enter your email and a password below to post your answer and join MoM:

↥ Back to top

Thanks For Your Star Rating!

Would you like to add a written rating or just a star rating?

Write A Rating Just A Star Rating