So just after some advice. I’ve been sick a lot and haven’t been feeling very intimate with my partner. He has broken a few things like a side table out of anger. I’m not sure it’s right for me to force my self to have sex if I won’t enjoy it because of the pain I am in. His needs are important but I have said to him I’m not in the mood for sex when I’m feeling so sick. And he had been struggling with his mental health I’m trying to show affection in other ways like cooking nice meals buying little things for him etc. he says it’s my fault his mental health is suffering and I need to take my medication and shut up. Just after advice No judgement please And thanks.

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  • How are things now ? I truely hope things have improved for you.

  • Your relationship sounds toxic. Please see your GP for advice.

  • I am really sad and sorry to read this. I would seek advice from a counsellor or another professional.

  • Please seek some advice from your gp xx

  • I’m sorry but this is not a relationship that is healthy. Time to move on.

  • His behaviour is not ok. It’s OK to feel a certain way, but not ok to act out in poor behaviour. I’d look at seeking some professional assistance.

  • This sounds unhealthy.
    His mental health or anger are not reasons for you to be intimate if you don’t want to.
    Coerced consent is not consent.
    Also, he has a hand and there are sex toys he could buy.
    If you want my advice, go to a counsellor for you. Suggest he does the same for himself. And see one together.
    You are NOT responsible for his mental health.

  • Understand that is a very hard situation. My general thoughts are in any relationship you need to respect the boundaries of others. He needs to respect and understand your boundaries and not being intimate isn’t something personal against him. If he’s upset and lashing out, he might have other things going on that he needs to address (or help with). But understand having that discussion and getting him to open up might be hard.

  • In this situation professional support and help for your safety and wellbeing.

  • All I can say is I agree with all the other mums… please seek help.
    All my love and strength to you.

  • I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way- it is so undeserved. Without knowing you, and without judging you- I encourage you to seek some help. Talk to a councillor or trusted friend. The way you are being treated is not okay and there are facilities out there that can help you. Please don’t force your body to do anything you aren’t comfortable with; right now his mental health is his own concern and you need to take care of yourself.

  • I am so sorry you are going through this. I don’t think this is okay and i think you should reach out to a family member about this. Forcing yourself to do things for him is not enjoyable, and, if he truly loves you, he would feel disgusted that you are forcing yourself to do things you don’t want to. Hugs from my family.

  • Firstly there is no judgement but that is not ok. Yes his needs are important however, so are yours and youve been sick. So not your fault for his mental health. Maybe call 1800 respect?

  • Coming from a DV caseworker…. There is some abuse here…. Maybe call 1800 respect for a chat, discuss counselling alone or together, (sounds like he may need it for his anger).
    No one should ever feel pressured to have sex, and if you do and he can’t accept your current feelings maybe it’s time to leave.

    I have a pretty low sex drive, and my partner just had to accept that he’s not going to get it multiple times a week! If he doesn’t like that, he knows where the door is.

  • It might be good to seek relationship counseling together. You have both your needs and it’s good to be honest open and respectful about it together

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