To me
Reward-
I reward her if she does good behaviour. Do what I ask, or do something extra (depending on what it is) and you get a reward.

Bribery-
Set and expectation of “if you make your bed, you get a treat” because she will then expect something everytime she does that or other actions.

I used to do the latter with my 4y/o and she caught on and expected something anytime she listened.

Hope this helps

Can you explain how you get in trouble for the bribing part ?
I think it’s kind of the same, although bribery might be more an in the moment thing, while reward can be more delayed. Just do what works.
For example my youngest has Down Syndrome and has no clue of time. We’ve had some struggles with dinner lately. She didn’t want to eat dinner/veggies and didn’t want to eat by herself. So knowing she loves ice cream, I now offer her an ice cream after she eats her veggies all by herself, followed by tracing letters (another non-preferred activity). So when she does both she gets an ice cream for desert. It works, so I’m happy to do so. I see this more as a strategic form of bribery.
Another example; My 9 year (foster) daughter struggles to listen and is frequently disrespectful (besides other behaviours). She can get 1 hour television late afternoon when she behaves well. I see this more as a reward for positive behaviour.

For me the difference is that bribes tend to occur under duress. You tend to give them when need to change the child’s behaviour quickly, and you offer something on the spur of the moment that you might not normally give (think candy bar in store). The child might “negotiate” by playing up more to get even more of what they want, either this time or next. It ends up putting them in the ‘drivers seat’ and can be quite unsettling because there is apparently no boundary; they can get what they want if they just run riot.. A reward is set out in advance. The child knows what they have to do, and works to comply with that, for a particular gain. So if the child behaves on 5 shopping trips then on the 6th they are rewarded (hopefully not the candy bar!) with something or an activity they want. They aren’t driving the situation, the parent is, and that is one of the differences.

Reward is for good behaviour that is expected to occur, bribery seems more like if you’re unsure of your ability to enforce good discipline.

It’s basically the same thing, the child gets something in return for doing what you want them to do, it doesn’t matter how you dice it, the end result is the same.

Reward is for achieving something..bribery is a trade off u do this and you get that

I think it all falls under the same category whether you make them do chores for goodies or if they do something good then they know you will reward them.

I think it is, I don’t use them I just let the kids have treats and if they are naughty then they just get told no. it is pretty simple

When you reward kids you give them something after the fact. When you bribe them you use the item as a bargaining chip for them to behave.

there are some good comments here

For anyone raising a girl like me – mine is 9 going on 19 – this is the most brilliant book I’ve read.
Raising Girls, by author Gisela Preuschoff – she is an amazing writer and has helped me great deal.
She has a chapter on this topic as well.

Bribery is I give you something and I want this done in return.
Reward is for an achivment or good behavior when it wasnt expected.

there is a thin line between both, but rewarding them for good behaviour is more of a spontaneous act where the child is not expecting it.

Bribery is offering the incentive before the action. Rewards are given after a positive behaviour has occurred.

Such a tricky one – I guess it’s not really bribing it’s just rewarding if you say ‘if you put away your toys you can have a freddo frog’. But I see where you’re confused. I think each parent just needs to do what works for them – don’t let anyone tell you off beacuse they don’t agree. You’re mother – you know what works best for you.

I would say bribery is: ill give u this if u can be good/do this.
While reward is waiting for the child to do that good thing before the reward is mentioned.
I do use bribery lol. Like ill tell me 2 yr old ‘eat your dinner and u can have an icy pole. But then he also gets rewarded so if I pick him up from daycare and was told he was really good then he gets a treat.

I’d be thinking that bribery is I’ll give you (money/treats etc) if you do this (look after your siblings, wash the car). While rewards should be for consistent good behaviour or for doing a number of things without the expectation of money/trips/treats etc.

I believe the post below sums it up perfectly. Well said 🙂

I see your point, however, as parents it is our job to provide the boundaries so the child grows knowing the difference in right and wrong and learning life skills from a young age.

Bribery – i would refer to as anything you give the child that has a cost (like if you do this, i will buy you XX). This sets the children up for expecting that unless they get something in return they wont do it.

Rewards – In my house are referred to as great work for helping mummy with tasks. I have a board set up with the items i would like the children to participate in – like make the bed, put their clothes out for washing, set the table etc. Anything that i believe contributes to the household. However, to make it more fun, I give the kids a sticker to put on the chart everytime they complete a task, and praise them for a job well done. If they get excited and do it twice they get two stickers, if they want a sticker for their hands as well – and that gives them a smile so be it, they get one – stickers are so cheap and they bring so much reward and happiness to the family.

As a bonus from time to time, i might reward them with a book, or a trip to the local takeaway, or the park especially if they did their tasks without fuss. I do it as a surprise so they dont expect it, and it is a bigger motivator for them to continue, because they never know when or if there is a bonus and it could be months between, but when i do this, omg, you should see their squeal of delight and appreciation – just so cute.

I dont believe in giving them money for doing these tasks, as this is part of a household lifestyle. As parents we dont get paid to keep house or make the bed etc.. and I dont believe it is necessary to set children up with wrong messages.

However, i have just introduced that the children get pocket money for picking up buckets of leaves in the yard, but, that is something not what i would call a part of daily life, but something that needs to be done every now and then.

Hope this helps

You know what if you and your kids are both having fun, why make things so complicated??? Bribe…reward…whatever… It is part of the growing process.