Last week my 6 year old son has come to me and told me that one of his classmates ( a boy ) has told him that he wants to marry him. The boy told him that two males can have a baby they just have to find a woman to make one. Today he said the boy said they are ‘boyfriends’ my son told him he did not want to be his boyfriend just his friend – the boy kept insisting until my son threatened to tell the teacher.

Recently the school ( primary school) had an assembly outlining that there was no room for ‘relationships’ at school and they were all there to learn.

My son told us that he felt very embarrassed and uncomfortable.

We actually know the student and his two mothers as they have been friends since pre school. My husband wants to speak to them directly but I am convinced it is a school issue. This is obviously a delicate topic but we don’t appreciate our son being put in a position he doesn’t want to be in.

We are a conservative household. We don’t speak to him about having girlfriends or crushes on girls and believe he is way too young to be worrying about this sort of stuff.

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  • At anonymously, how did you end up dealing with the issue ?

  • This is very hard. Depending on where you get your morals, talking to his parents might make everything worse. You can just teach your son consent? If he hasnt said yes, it isnt a relationship?

  • I think at this age, sometimes the child doesn’t really understand what it means to be “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”. Ask your son what he thinks it means? If it’s making him very uncomfy, talk to the teachers.

  • At this age it’s probably playacting, but your son’s feelings should be respected. Raise it with both the teacher and parents, but don’t make too big a deal of it.

  • Now that your son has told the other boy he’s not ok with it and threatened to tell the teacher hopefully it will stop. If it doesn’t I’d be having a quiet word to the teacher as a first step. Your son needs to feel safe and have his boundaries respected.

  • Wow I feel your pain
    I would go to the school ASAP .
    WOW what is the other boy being taught at home .
    He fully understands that two males can marry and have a child
    They need a female .
    I’m sorry but I find he is to young to be u restating such things
    He should be at school playing ,having fun
    Learning to read and write spell maths
    Wow understanding how plants and animals
    And learning about our beautiful planet
    Yes he can understand that two boy or two girls can be very very good friends
    But wanting a life partner at 6 just blew my mind
    I gave raised 3 children
    Now live with my daughter and her two girls
    And miss 18 is still not sure what team she bats for and that’s okay
    But I would love to know what is this young child been taught at home
    When it comes to the birds and bees I think 6 is very young
    Our 6 year old was taught
    My body no one is allowed to touch it
    Without asking first
    She was taught to sit nice
    No one wants to see her underwear
    Wow just trying to wrap my head around this poor mother
    School if no satisfactory explanation than the other parents .
    I wish you all the best I truly do
    Good luck

  • I am with what Ellen Said.. Respect, I would definitely invite the two Mum’s over for a play visit and have this conversation so that the families can work out the situation. It started at school yes but your son is still effected and worries after school and on the weekend. So easily sorted so long as it is spoken about nicely with the children. Have a picnic at a park less formal and sit and talk about feelings and kids do feel the pressure of being friends with everyone in their grade and other grade at school. These things do happen time to time and as a parent you do need to approach the school at times and sometimes go directly to the parent but be mindful of how you do this respectfully.

  • Adults nor children should never feel pressured or forced into a relationship. Very important for us to teach our children about respect, freedom of choice, learning to say no and respecting/accepting a no.

  • At this age boyfriends, girlfriends, thinking of marriage is pretty normal. Gosh, some kids even want to marry their teachers, parents, etc. They often don’t have the understanding of what a relationship is about. I’d give the teacher a heads up to look out for ‘boyfriend’ discussions with others and your son, just so they can be aware that he feels uncomfortable with this. More importantly I think this a brilliant opportunity to teach your child how to be assertive and to set boundaries. You can give him those tools now and set him up knowing about respect, consent and positive relationships. All great information for life.

  • I probably would tell my son: usually families started with one dad and one mum, and after they have kids, the family became bigger, but minority families can be two dads or two mums, depending on how do they want to build their family. You don’t need to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable, as the boy has a two mums family, he feels he wants a two dads family, that is his thought, you don’t need to worry about it. I am so proud of you because you are so brave to refuse the things you don’t like.

  • Wow! They’re only 6 ????‍♀️ I think it is a parent discussion. The parents of the other child need to know, they need to explain the inappropriateness of what their son is doing

  • I just read the article about it. I’m shocked and I got no advice to offer. They are only six. My twin boys are 4 1/2 now. I hope I will never be in that situation.

  • frankly i am so shocked what s happening. 6 years is too young to even understand these things. please speak to the teacher that you are not comfortable

  • Just let it go, don’t make a mountain out of it. Kids are all very innocent at that age and learning. If he is still being pressured he can tell the teacher.

  • The teacher is always the first point of contact in dealing with these issues. A meeting with the teacher is always a good first step.

  • It’s not okay your son is being made to feel the way he is. As the topic is delicate I would seek the assistance of their teacher to have a meeting with all parents involved. I’m sure they will understand.

    These are not confusing times we live in. People love who they love and don’t have to seek the approval of anyone. Absolutely nothing confusing about that (not directed at OP)

  • This is not ok, i would be raising it with the teacher in the classroom to see what he/she can do, if nothing improves, it might be worthwhile reaching out the mothers as they may be unaware this is happening and can have a conversation with there child about this and how it is important to respect what people say.

  • These are very confusing times we are living in. While I am generally pretty easy going and accepting of everyone, this is not okay. We have become too inclusive of a society to the point where heterosexuals are put in positions that make us feel uncomfortable, instead of it being the other way around. This is certainly not a good thing in such young children, or at school in general. Maybe speak to the school and see if things can be handled in a way that will make everyone feel comfortable. We recently had an issue with a bully and we met with the principal and then the child was spoken to as well as the parents. I think once the parents are made aware, they will be able to handle the problem best. It must be very confusing for the child being raised by 2 mums, as it’s clear to see that he views this as being normal for him as this is how he is being raised.

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