Hello!

I feel like these days, the parents at school pick-ups are becoming like teenagers in high school. All they want is drama and gossip. I can’t be bothered with it, so now I’m the topic of discussion every pick up of why I’m staying away from the parents and one particular parent keeps messaging me what’s my problem and why am I not sitting with them and just waiting in the car. I just don’t understand how I’m meant to respond to it to keep the peace and stay away from the drama. Is this a normal thing at other schools or am I the problem ?


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  • I don’t recall this being an issue when my boys were at primary school. They catch the bus for secondary so I wasn’t aware of any of the drama if there was any. Tricky situation.


  • Must admit this never happened to me as I was always too busy. Being on the school committee meant I had to talk to the teachers and headmaster about upcoming events or organising transport for sports days, etc. Then I had to work and my children then caught the bus


  • How ridiculous, these mums seem to have nothing better to do with their day. I work so my kids catch the bus to and from school so it’s sounds like I’m lucky enough to miss these dramas. I feel for you, but staying in your car until Bell times seems to be the better option and to stay well clear of it. Very sad it comes to this. Good luck x


  • You do you. You do not have to give an explination, nor do you owe her anything. Your decisions are your decisions. If you want to give her an explanation, by all means. I would just tell her “you find the gossiping etc a bit too much and don’t really want to be around it, but thanks for checking in to see I’m ok”


  • It is actually not ok for the other parent to be messaging and wanting to know why you are not engaging with others at pick up time. Quite frankly; it is none of her business and no justification is needed. Sometimes it is good to break the cycle of drama and not engage and respond to such behaviour.


  • Just see the answer I posted, which clearly belongs to a different post, sorry.
    I don’t think you’re the problem at all and think what you’re doing (staying away from the drama and removing yourself from the drama and gossips) is a wise thing to do. When this parents keeps asking you, you could chose to be just honest, but you don’t have to explain yourself when you don’t feel for it.


  • I don’t think this is normal behaviour at all! I am only there one day a week for school pick up, but even when I was doing it every day, I didn’t know anyone and no one really approached me to talk. From what I’ve observed I think most people like to get in and out as quickly as possible.


  • It sounds like you’re navigating a challenging situation with some drama at school pick-ups. Unfortunately, this kind of behavior can be pretty common in certain social circles, and you’re definitely not alone in feeling frustrated by it. It’s tough to deal with when you just want to keep things low-key, and it seems like the gossip and drama are taking center stage. It might help to respond to the parent who’s messaging you by calmly explaining that you prefer to keep things to yourself and avoid unnecessary drama, but you appreciate their concern. You don’t owe anyone an explanation beyond that, and sometimes it’s best to set boundaries without feeling guilty. If you keep it respectful but firm, hopefully, they’ll get the message. At the end of the day, it’s your choice who you interact with, and focusing on staying out of the drama will serve you well in the long run.


  • I’m afraid I don’t like the names she suggested much either. We all have a different taste in regards to names and there are different sources of inspiration in regards to names. You may find a name via television program, someone you know, a book, google, a family member. Sit down and go through the books with him. Find out what he does like and then work on a compromise.


  • I have always avoided people that want to gossip because it is so pointless and unpleasant. It really is toxic and bad for the mind and then body to engage in negative talk. It is important to be authentic and true and engage with people with positive energy and ideas.


  • Yes it’s normal at my kids school too. I’ve chosen now to just stay in my car as well which is pretty sad but I have enough drama haha


  • I’d say it’s pretty normal some women are very drama filled. I wouldn’t like someone keeping tabs on everything I do. You might need to explain you find it boring doing the same thing daily, have other things to do, are running a house so do phone catch up, might be feeling sick so not wanting to spread sickness, or just want some peace and quiet. Might need to ask her why she’s so interested in what you do she might need a hobby.


  • I have never heard of this before. Sounds like a true mean girl clique!!!
    I would definitely stay away from them. They must have no life outside of school so need to try and make themselves look like queen bees. I honestly don’t understand people like that, like who really has the energy to waste on that sort of thing?!


  • the one that messaged you sounds like one to steer clear of. I wouldn’t reply but say a friendly hello when you do come face to face and just make an excuse that you use that time for other things. Shopping list, emails, cleaning up your phone etc. It is sometimes good to chat to arrange playdates etc but it doesn’t have to be everyday.


  • Messaging you asking what’s your problem is pretty weird in my opinion. Especially if phrased that way, really off putting. I would give a smile and a hello when you pass them by. Maybe say you take the opportunity before the kids finish to check emails or do some sort of catch up. Maybe even audio book time. A little fib can stop the awkwardness for you and simmer them down. But don’t be surprised if you are a topic of their goss here and there, they sound bored.


  • I don’t normally socialise with parents at
    School pickup , maybe when drop off just a quick hello. You can choose to keep in touch with them by social media casually or just come up with an excuse that your child doesn’t want you to wait for them outside and prefer for you to wait in the car?


  • In my opinion this is not normal, those parents sound catey and I would be the same and remove myself from that situation. For that mum to message you constantly and ask you what’s wrong is ridiculous and you need to put her in her place and ask her to stop messaging you if it is bothering you. Unless your child is good friends with this mums kid I wouldn’t worry too much as people are pathetic and need to get over themselves. Lots of parents in my daughter’s class don’t interact at pick up and that’s perfectly ok as we all have other stuff going in. I know when I have had a crap day at work, all I want to do is stand in silence and wait for my child to finish


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