Either continue to remind him and explain the consequences or stop free access to packaged snacks so you can take wrappers off. Make a rule of only eating at the table?

He’d be told if I find a wrapper anywhere that isn’t the bin the snacks can be eaten from a bowl pretty simple if it happens again no pre-packaged snacks give him a muesli bar in a bowl at the table

Sadly, you’re doing all you can do, other then restricting where he eats so any food wrappers will be well away from bub if left lying around

I think to point out he’s your ‘step son’ rather than son might indicate there’s a disconnection between the two of you. The status of your son as a step son wasn’t relevant to the situation generally but that’s a reference point in your question, so perhaps working on your connection with him (and communication) would see you reap rewards. Is he included? Does he feel like a part of the family? Maybe he’s acting out a little to gain attention or mark his mark? Kids can be hard enough, and maybe he just doesn’t get the importance but the phrasing of your question comes across as us and them between your family and your stepson. This isn’t unusual for these sorts of family makeups (we’re all human) but might be something to consider as a different approach.

Firstly…. You are not a failure. To be classed as a failure as a Mother would mean you didnt give a rats if things were left around and your baby choaked because you had zero love or care for them. Thats not you so its impossible to call yourself a failure. No way.

I really dont know whats going on with your step son but he shoudl be old enough to take responsibility for himself and clean up his wrappers.
Its possible that he feels jealous. Is he getting enough one on one time with his Dad?

HOnestly, he’s being a pretty normal kid. I can’t get mine to pick up after themselves! You could try locking the pantry, so he only has access to unwrapped food.

Sounds like he needs to only have the same foods that are safe for
Bub until he learns to put wrappers in the bin. He clearly doesn’t see a direct consequence for himself yet and won’t alter his behaviour until he does.

Need to show him how to use the bin for the safety of your little one

Don’t buy snacks in wrappers for him any more. Tell him that he is only allowed to have food that doesn’t come in wrapping. Or you can buy items in wrapping, take off the wrappers and store them in air tight containers from which he can get his snacks.

I agree with the comment below about a designated eating area, this may assist the situation?

Personally we like to be completely honest with our son and the dangers of leaving things laying around that his little sister could choke on. Reality is your child could choke and could potentially die. It is a harsh reality but making them realise that the outcome of their actions could be fatal honestly helps. Our son is now very aware of things he drops and ensures he picks them up. We have even watched him remove things from her hands that are a potential danger also.

If he cant be responsible have a designated eating place ie food is ONLY eaten at the table… He’ll get the idea soon enough…

So scary indeed ! You are not a failure !
It shows how much supervision our little ones need, there are safety hazards everywhere indeed. I hope this incident opened the eyes of your son ! I would be careful not to accuse him, but express your concern and that it must have been scary for him too ! try to talk in a way he can learn of this situation.

How frustrating and scary! I wish there was an easy solution. I wonder if there is something else behind this behaviour.

He needs to be taught that the wrapper goes straight in the bin as it comes off. If not he doesn’t get another. When he asks for the item go with him and supervise that it goes to the bin.