Hello!

My three year old has lived the majority of her life in lockdown. She now has severe social anxiety and separation anxiety. I’m just wondering if anyone else is going through a similar situation? She is ok around family and staying with them but freaks out around strangers. We are trying to get her prepared for three year kinder that she’ll be starting in the new year as we’re concerned she won’t cope well being away from us for full days at a time. She has only recently started occasional care for 2 hours a week. We attend a playgroup, swimming classes and mini maestros music class once a week as well.


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  • You’re doing a brilliant job! Give her lots of reassurance that you will return and afterwards state to her ‘I told you I would be back and I am.’ Just start off small. She’ll get there.


  • Thank you all for such wonderful and thoughtful answers to my question! I really appreciate it. They are all great ideas and we will try to incorporate them into our routine. Thanks again. :-)


  • Sounds like you’re on the right track. You still have time before school starts. Slowly slowly is the way to go


  • Looks as though there are some good answers here. An only child can be so much harder to keep happy and social than a family with siblings. Good luck to both of you.


  • I am sorry to hear this. My daughter has separation anxiety too but not as severe as your child. I have been doing a lot of research and found some great books that you can read to your child about everyday things. For example I have a book that I read that talks about how mummy has to go to work or to an appointment but she will always come home afterwards. I think it is helping my daughter. Have you considered something like this?


  • I would be trying to introduce her to more social situations slowly. Take her to a play group- maybe explore different ones she doesn’t know, library reading time, etc. Also organise babysitting by other family and friends she might not see as much and leave her for a couple hours. She needs to get used to it and some tough love may need to be involved.


  • I think you do well ! Kinder / child care is good for social skills, you could increase the days slowly once she started. Play group is a good one too and any other groups activity as well.


  • It sounds like you have been taking all the right steps. I was about to suggest a playgroup until I Read you already attend, fantastic! Could you do play dates outside of playgroup with some of the families you have met there?


  • My daughter is exactly the same! She’s 3 years old but hates to be left alone and freaks out at strangers, just starts crying.
    I put her in dancing and it took a while year for her to get comfy and go into the dance studio on her own without me.
    Maybe try something similar like that as a social activity for her?
    She’s in daycare 2 days a week but I don’t think she really has any friends as she’s just socially awkward. I wish her teachers would encourage her and her peers more.


  • Try leaving something you value with her; a necklace, bracelet, purse or scarf for example. It’ll reassure her. You might not be back for her but you certainly wouldn’t leave your purse ! Such is the reasoning of an insecure child.


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