I think all you can do is persist.

Interested to see what others write here. I’ve got a 4 year old and see elements of this in her. Very frustrating!

She is realising that she is an independent person with her own thoughts and feelings, separate from yours. She is seeing how far the boundaries go, so decide now what your boundaries of acceptable behaviour are and enforce them. My 6 year old has been going through the same thing.

He knows the rules and we have made it clear that any breach of the rules has consequences. These are initally time outs. Repeated breaches get treats taken away (eg no DVDs at the weekend, no going out with his friends on his bike and final sanction would be taking away something he loves such as Cubs/Joeys or cancelling a swimming lesson). He did not believe us until we stopped him watching DVDs at the weekend as well as stopping him going out to play with his friends (last weekend). His behaviour this week has been immaculate as he now knows that if we threaten it, we mean it.

it seems like you have tried just about everything except taking a hardline stance. ! warning then scary voice then a smack and loss of privileges. make your stand, make it known it WILL NOT be tolerated. she is just pushing boundaries hopefully and if she has just started school that can also contribute.

My boys are 10 and 13 and they still do all those things every now and then. Our beautiful sweet children are still there they are just developing the other side and have to learn to balance out the good with the bad (or difficult)

Tell her you love her but stay strong with your decisions and rules. This is what she is testing. Once she realises that the rules stay she should be ok but it might be a tough ride for a while.

I’m going through this now with my 4 year old. The defiance and stubbornness blows my mind at times. I just stay firm and don’t waver and I’m hoping at some point it will stop. I’m not sure how much more of the whinging and whining I can take!

Its a sign she is ready to go to school! Mine did it too, my youngest I wanted to send to Boarding Preschool. Best advice is keep up the learning type activities. Pre-reading books, talk about simple arithmetic, letters and numbers. And get heaps of exercise, nothing like a tired body to tire the brain!

I noticed my daughter 4yrs started this behavior as soon as she started kinder. And to be frank. Im stuck. But your not alone.

Has she just started prep this year? If so then it may be simply realising what teachers do/don\\\’t let them get away with. Even if she\\\’s a little angel at school then maybe she\\\’s bottling all the negative energy up
For you. Speak to the teacher and see how she\\\’s going. If she has friends etc

She is testing bounderies, stay string abd let her know it’s not acceptable behaviour and discipline her each time.

I hope you find find this to be a passing phase. I can imagine it would be very frustrating…and I definitely have my challenges with Miss 4!

Yep i know how you feel and i just explain why we don’t behave this way

Ep hope everything works out I think you need to find disapline that works for your family and you all stick to it

Kids will try to push boundaries and rules and want to do it all their own way. Go the distance and use a consistent approach with your daughter. You are mum and you are the boss! Once she knows you are firm but loving and will not accept her tantrums she will get tired of this behaviour. Kids do go through phases. It is normal for kids to go through phases. Look after your own health as well; being a parent is constant and is rewarding and challenging at times.

I was a very ill mannered 5 year old. I think I was constantly trying to challenge my mum’s rules and my mum was very busy with sister who was one at the time so challenge I did. I did change eventually and I was a very easy going teenager. So, stick to your guns, you’re the mum and she has to learn she can’t get her way all the time. She’s still going to play up but you need to demonstrate that you are the boss and not her. Make sure her dad supports you so she can see mum and dad stand a united front.

I always felt my kids innocence and behaviour went downhill when they started kindy and school life, interacting with a whole range of kids, certainly makes the parenting role challenging

All kids go through it, not all the same age though
The best thing to do is get on her level when she is acting up, try asking her how she feels and why she feels this way and what can be done to help it
it is just a transition from baby to kid, she will eventually find her place

She is still there somewhere, try talking to her to about if she is worried about things that are going on. Kids can pick up on stresses going on around them. Or she might just be over changes happening in her life (has she started school) she might just be over tired and trying to find out where she fits in now. She will settle down soon. But keep up the good work of not giving in to her. Give yourself a brek some time away if you can you do deserve treats as well.