Hi all I’m just wondering how many other mums have been in this situation and what did you do?
This morning I took miss 5 to school. She has only started this year so she is still trying to fit in. She tells me about her knew friends every afternoon and what they have done together. Anyway this morning she saw her 2 little friends and ran up to join them. One little “friend” said she didn’t want to play with miss 5 and promptly they ran away .My miss 5 came back to me in tears saying she just wanted to go home. She didn’t want to be there and wanted to go back home. I just hugged her and told her it will be alright and that I love her. The bell rang and while she was sitting in her class line the whole time she looked imploring at me with sad puppy dog eyes. I wanted to grab her and take her back home with me and give her lots of cuddles. Lucky one of the other mothers with me asked her daughter to sit with mine.
Now my dilemma is should I have said something to those 2 little “friends” ? Like that’s not very nice ect. The nice mum that was next to me reckon I should have but the girls took off before I could process what went on.
My heart breaks for her as she is a social butterfly and a sensitive little person. I remember how awful school can be too but also that she needs to make her own mark too
What are your thoughts ?
Thank you

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  • One of the hardest parts of being a parent is seeing your child hurting and not being able to fix it for them. As a parent I always try to make my kids understand that a persons behaviour says more about them than about you and I try and build their confidence up so high that nobody can knock it down… Hope your little one is ok :)

  • That’s so hard! It can be worse if a parent says something to the kids so I’d probably talk to the teacher about it so they can talk to the class as a whole about being nice to each other rather than single them and your daughter out.

  • While it doesn’t directly answer your question. I recently got in a kind of similar situation at the park. There was one other child there while my miss almost 3 was playing. The other child was extremely rude, running around my daughter making horrible noises, and really scaring her. At first I was annoyed at the child and I didn’t know what to do. But then I just started talking friendly to the child, saying hi, asking their name etc. They became much calmer and nicer, and stopped scaring my daughter. With a bit more small talk he felt more comfortable, then they even started following each other around the park and ended up playing together. I don’t think bullying of any sort should be ignored, what kind of world does that reinforce?! But tackle it with positive vibes, being friendly, and trying to understand or help. Remember bullies are usually taking their frustrations from home, family etc out on others. They might just need love, or be afraid of connecting with others, maybe they weren’t taught to be nice to others so we can be an example and be nice to them.

  • No I wouldn’t interfere directly. I understand it breaks your heart to see your child feeling sad and discouraged. Comforting your child in this situation is the right thing to do, but also explain to her that not all kids are kind and help her to focus on those who are willing to play. You can’t force these things. However you could observe if this is a pattern and if these classmates are unkind to her all the time, in which case a wee chat with the teacher could be helpful.

  • How is your little girl doing now?

  • Maybe speak to her teacher about it? Work out if there is some other issue going on. Teach your child that in the world not everyone likes everyone else and we don’t have to surround ourselves with nasty people.

  • Definitely don’t speak to the other children. Teachers and other parents won’t take kindly to that. I would speak to my child about how there are lots of different people in the world and she needs to stay strong, take care of herself first, and if there are people that are not very nice, stay away from them.

  • no i wouldn’t speak to the girls – if it became an ongoing issue i’d talk to the teacher or if you got to know the parents. but it is just kids being kids!

  • they are 5! kids can be cruel, just talk to your own , im sure they will be besties next week

  • Did the right thing not talking to the little girls. May be letting the teacher know what is going on so she can keep an eye out for any problems. Children are so fickle with their relationships, some may last a life time others times it is hard to keep up with who their best friends are this week.

  • Saying that to them would have been fine but I would have took it as an opportunity to tell my child that not all kids are nice and not everyone wants to be friends. My child experienced this there is a known bully in the class we told our child who happens to love the minions that if people act like Gru not to play with them

  • It could be a case of when there is 3 in a group, one is often occasionally “on the outer”. How many children are in the class and were they at kindergarten or pre-school together? There may have been “a divide” then and you not known about it.

  • She will be okay. She will probably find other children to play with and make her mark with them. You did the right thing in not interfering, she will develop resilience and needs to ‘fight’ her own battles. If it was a continuing occurrence, it would then be bullying and would be something that you would need to talk with the teacher about.

  • No, I wouldn’t have done anything. I think this is stuff the kids have to handle themselves. And a lot of kids change their behaviour very suddenly. One day best friends, the next one they ignore each other.
    What happened in the days after? Did they acknowledge your daughter again?

  • No, don’t interfere, not yet anyway. Kids need to learn resilience and how to bounce back from these situations themselves. If bullying starts, then step in and interfere away

  • I wouldn’t approach the little girls – that is the role of their teachers and in turn their parents. I would certainly let your daughter’s teachers know what has transpired, so that they can keep an eye on how she is doing socially at school so that it doesn’t become an issue.

  • Oh how heart breaking. I HAVE BEEN HERE.I just spoke to the teachers about it and they said it was common. Just see how it goes. Hopefully will blow over…..it does melt your heard though.

  • Don’t approach the little girls as you’re not allowed you’ll get in trouble
    Just go up to the teacher and explain the situation
    My kids experience this all the time she needs to learn to make new friends and play with the one that her mum spoke to you

  • It’s tough but kids often do this and next minute they’re best friends again. Interfering might make it worse.

  • Kids friendships can be very fickle especially when it involves 3 children rather than just two. One minute they are are best friends the next minute they aren’t. As painful as it is, things like this help to prepare a child for the future. If there were any nasty comments aimed at your child, or if it were to continue on a daily basis then I would talk to her teacher.

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