ASD – Autistic Spectrum Disorder or Aspergers Syndrome. It’s all Autism now, apparently. There’s no cure for it, it’s a part of life. Many kids experience it and more parents and carers are challenged daily by it. Many have their own opinions about why some children have it and some don’t. There are specialist centres and experts, yet where were they when my ASD son took to self-harming? Oh that’s right, I remember, they were sitting back telling me what a naughty, attention seeking boy he was, that he should just “get over it” and “be like everybody else”.
Charlie Pickering has penned a perfect post about what makes news, and what doesn’t. Although Charlie focuses on the daily deaths and abuse of women, it emanates the clear message that unless a story can be sensationalised, it’s just not newsworthy. Have you noticed that we’re getting the same “stuff” day in day out. Charlie is right. Find out more about what Charlie says through the link on this blog on my website.
I’m a mum of an ASD son who turned 20 this month of April and a son who has just turned 10.
The last 20 years have been a roller-coaster of love, challenges, and a multitude of other “things” and just “stuff”.
Why have I decided to share my experiences? Probably because I’m a little tired, fed up, exasperated, annoyed and just plain cheesed off with “people” judging the decisions and the choices I’ve implemented as a mother raising an ASD son. These incidences are daily and continued yet, much like the deaths of women at the hands of violence in the home, it’s just not newsworthy.
The media might actually be able to “help” educate the greater community and reduce the incidences of ridicule and judgement of both ASD kids, and other special needs kids, and their parents and carers. Charlie Pickering penned:
“We need to focus on what’s going on at home more than what’s going on in the streets”.
So, where to begin?
Would I change anything I’ve done? No, I don’t think so. All parents make mistakes but it seems some are judged harsher than others and the repercussions of those judgements can be quite devastating. To make a mistake is to have opportunity to learn, grow and change.
Many parents and carers have traversed the at times dark, yet green valley’s of ASD, felt at times as though there was no light at the end of the ASD tunnel and simply sat and wondered how it all came to be.
I’m not alone, I’ve read stories and tales from shared by other carers and parents, stories are mostly shared on sites specifically for those of us who have personal experience and I don’t know why. Maybe because of fear of experiencing the vile tongues of people who really have no clue at all.
The “people” I refer to are those that have not raised an ASD child, nor have they walked in the shoes of an ASD carer or parent, nor do they know of what hides behind closed doors. How could they know? Have they walked in shoes even similar? They couldn’t possibly have, or they wouldn’t say or judge in the manner that they have and will likely continue to do so.
To this day I ponder of the rational people have had to publicly and directly vilify me as a mother and a person. Their abasements and their aspersions all served, in my mind, to do a number of things, to inflate their egos as experts, though none hold degrees or any sort of expertise in the area of ASD. Dare I say this, to deliberately hurt and intimidate both myself and my son. I really can only presume, but what other reason could there be that is valid?
The blame game is easy to play, specialists play it, strangers play it, friends play it, family play it.
Start with a link on my website at the end of this blog maybe, I shared that story because MMR vaccine is “blamed” for autism. Read some of the comments that go with it.
This story and more can be read on my website, they’re real, they’re true, they’re simply “how it is”. I’m shining a light onto some topics and issues that are rarely talked about yet need to be so we can better help each other and in turn help our kids.
Posted by MsJane, 26th April 2014