Autism/Aspergers - Real Mum story on MoM

12 Comments

I have worked with children and adults with Autism/Aspergers
Sometihng to be aware of: Do not begin accepting a behavior if you are not prepared to tolerate it for life.
Learn as much as you can and there are plenty of books and documentations available now. Join a support group so you can share information, trials and tribulations.
A young mother has a child who was smacked by the pastor of their church because he was running and did not stop when asked. This infuriated the parents then when he was told the child had autism, the Pastor told the mother not to speak that word as it was a demonic presence in her child and he needed firm discipline. Needless to say this family never returned to that church.

I worked with children and adults with severe Autism and gained great insight and learned a lot from my clients.

I have a young friend with Aspergers, he is brilliant, and has many quirks but that does not make him unlovable. He is a very loyal friend. Parents often are unaware their child has this condition as they may have only mild symptoms, others who have severe symptoms just “know”. There are also overlapping symptoms from other disorders. Some children are considered being naughty and defiant until diagnosed. School and being pushed into areas of discomfort can be like hell for these children, so much stimulation overload. Being made to participate in activities where touching another person is part of the play or dance. Parents and teachers try to socialize these kids and it is just not going to end well.
A young adult friend of mine is a brilliant engineer and delightful company because I understand. He is on the high intellect level of Aspergers. One of his quirks is he cannot tolerate odd numbers of things, he gave me an egg one day because one had broken and it distressed him to have an odd number of eggs in the carton and he always cooks only two at a time. His mother said he was not diagnosed until he was about twelve. He had many struggles during his school years. Now he is working but has difficulty with social events that are part of his work, eating out is a chore as he is very fussy and can’t have one food item touching another. He does not tolerate particular textures and cannot tolerate foods presented together as in a casserole or mixed salads. I also have a stepson who is on the high intellect level of Aspergers. He has a weird sense of humor, is very loyal and once he is crossed it is forever! He struggled at school until he hit high school and then he blossomed as he had built a rapport with teachers who showed him respect and earned his trust. As youngster he was disruptive, as he would correct his teachers if they made an error. If they made a mistake, they were lying to him because they aught to know. His memory never let him forget anything he learned. He could not understand home work. To him, home work was chores at home and he did those and never understood what teachers meant. Then if he did complete written school work at home he did not hand it in because they had not told him to do so. He had a pike of this work at home that he had done. If his teachers wanted to know if he remembered what he had been taught, they just had to ask him, he had better things to do out of school such as playing with his dog.
He hated gym because he could not tolerate changing his clothes, when forced he wore gym clothes all day with his outside clothes and took them off and back on again. It must have been really uncomfortable but it worked for him. Always so polite, he opens doors for people and always for me. There is nothing he would not do if it would help me or make me happy. These kids thrive on positive feedback and they love to please.
I love him to bits. Please if you know of a child who has Autism / Aspergers, be kind to them learn to understand them and be patient. Be supportive to the parents.

Posted by Tene, 3rd December 2014

12 Comments

- - matildaspice said
  - 07 Jan 2015
    9:24 pm
My six year old son has autism. He is absolutely lovely. While it can bring its difficulties he gives such unconditional love and is such a joy in my life.

- - mom111059 said
  - 06 Jan 2015
    12:02 pm
My son has Aspergers and cerebral palsy. He is loved by everyone he knows and is kind and gentle.

- - mom93821 said
  - 02 Jan 2015
    8:59 am
Education and information is definitely key.

- - pakeko said
  - 01 Jan 2015
    8:28 pm
Amen to that and thank you for writing about this as so many people have no first hand knowledge about it and just want to understand

- - mom93821 said
  - 31 Dec 2014
    6:16 pm
Thanks for sharing your story.

- - hopefullyheidi said
  - 23 Dec 2014
    10:14 pm
Amen to this wonderful piece of writing. My son’s little friend is on the spectrum and we have had a sleepover and play dates. He is an amazing little boy and they get along famously. My son also has ADHD and a couple of assosciated things, and it can often come as a surprise when I tell people because of the stereo typical view that some have of these things still. My son also opens doors for people and is the most kind little boy with a big heart. It’s so lovely to see him and his little friend interact. They will sit there and have conversations like little old men. They debate certain topics and unlike some other children they don’t seem to get into conflict with one another for any sustainable period of time, but rather work out their points of view with each other. They seem to have a common understanding of their personality types, and I’m taking about boys that have just gone on 9. It’s amazing to watch and learn from them.
- hopefullyheidi replied
  
  23 Dec 2014 , 10:16 pm
  Sorry meant to say “talking” about boys just turned 9.
- - tam_watters said
  - 23 Dec 2014
    7:24 pm
As a teacher, many of my favourite children have Aspergers. I find them so engaging and enjoyable to get to know. I liked your point about ‘Do not begin accepting a behavior if you are not prepared to tolerate it for life.’ I hadn’t considered how important it is to adapt the habits before they take hold. Thanks for sharing.

- - BellaB said
  - 09 Dec 2014
    8:54 pm
I think one challenge is that people on the autism spectrum have such a range of behaviours and needs – so hard to get it right!
- kazjl replied
  
  02 Feb 2015 , 5:04 pm
  It sure is. :/
- - kazjl said
  - 03 Dec 2014
    7:52 pm
Thanks for writing this. My son has Aspergers and it’s nice to hear that some people really care and try to understand.

- - Mum2103 said
  - 03 Dec 2014
    1:11 pm
My nephew has Aspergers. And like your friend just needs a little time and for others to be open minded to understand what these remarkable people are doing. My nephew is highly intelligent, but like most, he finds it difficult to be in large groups or show affection through hugging etc. Once you understand his reservations and he is comfortable there is no stopping the flow of information that he is willing to discuss. I am so proud of my nephew, even with this issue he chooses to push his boundaries a little each day. Well done!