Generational abuse..... - Real Mum story on MoM

14 Comments

I have a friend, she’s been a single mum for 30 odd years. Always living on Centrelink money. She’s on prescription medication for mental issues, has been a recreational drug user and an alcoholic.

Her daughter is nearly 40, married, 6 kids. Her and her partner are both on Centrelink, she is on prescription medication for depression, smokes pot and abuses alcohol. Her eldest is 20 and pregnant with her 2nd child, both her and partner are on Centrelink. The 2nd eldest is 19, still lives at home, gives his parents all his Centrelink money, smokes pot and abuses alcohol. The next 2 are at school. The youngest is in care, has been for 8 years since he was a baby, when all the kids were removed and taken into care.

My friends son is nearly 30, still lives at home also on Centrelink, sone of which I think is to be his mums carer. He’s on prescription medication for depression and anxiety, smokes pot and abuses alcohol. He’s never lived on his own, never worked, never had a girlfriend. His mum does everything for him, claiming he’s not ready to live alone. He abuses her, smashes the house up, plays the PlayStation all night and sleeps all day.

It’s a really sad situation for all involved and definitely one to add to the generational abuser file

Posted anonymously, 11th May 2016

14 Comments

- - mom112217 said
  - 22 Mar 2017
    2:23 pm
That’s not the way to live at all!

- - damish70 said
  - 19 May 2016
    4:03 pm
So this is where all my taxes go!
- june11 replied
  
  17 Jul 2016 , 9:59 pm
  Some should be given some food vouchers in leiu of full Centrelink benefit to at least make sure they eat properly. Problem is the younger ones see how their parents and older siblings live and probably don’t know much better.
  Besides the parents are supposed to set a good example, so the young ones think that’s how life is.
- - mom172741 said
  - 19 May 2016
    9:27 am
What a difficult pattern to break. It would be extremely difficult for the younger generations to go against their family members and live a different life. I remember working with a young person who wanted to break their drug addiction and her dad asked her what was wrong with her and was she too good for them now.

- - mom56312 said
  - 17 May 2016
    2:14 pm
I tend to think kids are born into that lifestyle and do it hard, Sometimes they can break the cycle. But they have to want to achieve a better lifestyle and have people who believe in them around and willing to support and encourage them to do so. Some people can get by on the centrelink benifits.. Others can not.(i couldnt)
So many people are on medication for depression etc but that isnt a reason for not been who you can be…..

- - mom176887 said
  - 13 May 2016
    10:59 am
What a said story. It must be difficult being a friend to the mum and seeing it all happen, especially the complex situation with her son caring for her, but abusing her too. Can social workers be involved with the family to try and intervene and change the patterns? Something needs to happen about the abuse, and it is usually very difficult to become “involved” as a friend, since that is a separate support role.

- - mom93821 said
  - 12 May 2016
    7:57 pm
Generational issues in all areas are across the spectrum and the answer needs to be with education, legislation and responsible and sustainable government.

- - BellaB said
  - 12 May 2016
    7:25 pm
These cycles are really hard to break. Very sad.
- mom93821 replied
  
  13 May 2016 , 6:00 am
  Cycles can be hard to break and it needs to start from the top down with a unified and consistent approach.
- - mum4107 said
  - 12 May 2016
    6:44 am
That is sad. Sounds like a vicious cycle. I hope some thing can be done t to break the cycle

- - mom90758 said
  - 11 May 2016
    5:24 pm
What a terrible situation. It looks like a vicious circle. Somebody should help them or nothing will ever change.

- - mom165081 said
  - 11 May 2016
    4:14 pm
What a tragic loss of opportunity for all of these people. I wonder if anything can be done to help any of them more – to get them independent and not just living on Government money and resources from week to week. Such stories make me angry and sad at the same time – sad for the situation these people are in and angry that nothing seems to de done to them and those around them see and find opportunity for a better life.
- mom81879 replied
  
  11 May 2016 , 6:30 pm
  The young girl, pregnant at the moment, has been given a laptop, mobile phone and had online courses paid for her to try get her into work. She sold both the phone and comp.
  
  The nearly 30 yo son has done an engineering course and got the highest grades in his group. He’s done a panel beating course and an art course, all paid for by the government.
  
  So it’s not that there’s no help available, it’s more that they’re not interested when they can do nothing on Centrelink.
  - mom165081 replied
    
    11 May 2016 , 10:17 pm
    
    That’s pretty bad. I doubt there is anything you can do to help. Some people just expect everything to to come to them with zero effort. Maybe, sometime in the future they will reflect on their prior actions and use their intelligence for good. Let’s hope… in the meantime, all you can do is support your friend in a non-judgmental way. Sometimes this is harder than it sounds – but you seem like a great fired who will be there through thick and thin.