This sounds so much like to sister and if I dont talk to her everyday she goes out of her way to bug me like constantly ringing my home phone mobile messages I have even had to change my mobile number

Sorry to hear your story,l would have a talk and explain and spell out a few truths to her!

Maybe she needs to sign a contract! It could read “will not speak unless authorised!”

The problem with my mum is she doesn’t bother with me unless I make the first move. So I decided ‘No more!’ I haven’t contacted her for months and have also heard nothing from her. Except a text on my birthday. What should that tell me?

oh dear hope things improve

I get where you are coming from. At t he same time i believe at one time or another we all have been so mad at our mothers that you even think to yourself ” Is she really my mum?”

The fact is your mum is very proud of you, hence the reason she is telling everyone of your pregnancy.

Having said that, i thick she is lonely, that is why she is drawing attention to herself about all these different illnesses.

She needs your love and attention. May be you can encourage her to join a group, any group where she can interact with other people her age with the same interests. That way she won’t be able to upset you so much because she will be too busy, doing something with her life. Good luck.

I lost my Mum on the 31st of July and I would give anything to have her back as she was the most loving giving and supportive person I ever knew except for my Dad who was the same and he has been gone just over 16 years. May be just block out what annoys you and don’t dwell on it and just count the good things about your Mum. No body is perfect and no Mum is either just ask any child…..

I’m lucky to have a wonderful mother and MIL. I just wish they lived closer.

Sometimes us Mums get excited with good news ,maybe she doesn’t have good things to talk about ,so any news she has heard is good gossip.She might be pain ,but think if she’s gone ,there would be a big hole in ur kgs .P.S my Mums is a pain to .

Yes, same here. I love my Mum and feel guilty if I haven’t contacted her for a while but when I do a lot of the time I come away feeling annoyed. She is closer to my younger sister than me, and when I talk to my Mum it”s always about my sister and her family. When I bring something up about my family It’s like she isn’t interested and there we are again, back to a one sided conversation about my sister and her family. I hope my kids won’t feel the same way about me so that’s why I try to be very patient.

This sounds like your writing exactly about my mother – though mine really takes it to a whole new level.. Constantly criticizes my husband, our lifestyle (even though we both work full time & her + her hubby are on centreline benefits + other means of income which i’ll not advertise, though both are more then capable of working and earning an honest living)
From the moment I found out I was pregnant she took over everything, advertised it before I was ready, as I wanted to make sure I was past the “safe point”, started telling me what I should & shouldn’t buy for the baby, criticizing every single move my husband made if it wasn’t baby related, assumed she was welcome into the birth without any form of conversation – after my hubby had had enough, she even went as far as threatening to take him to court for access if she didn’t get to see our child.. it got so out of control, that I ended up having to cut off contact with her completely.. Makes me wonder what goes on upstairs there.. But non-the-less, it’s been a relief to be able to focus on my baby-and preparing to become a mum for the first time, without all her controlling antics..

YES OMG YES!

I find my relationship with my mum depends on my mood. If i am happy, she generally is too. But if I am a bit low or negative, she feeds off it.

I just don’t talk to my mother. Don’t respect my boundaries? Don’t expect to be inside them.

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  • • hopefullyheidi replied
    • 16 Oct 2014 , 9:30 pm

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  I have the same situation with my mother.

I hear you! I’m the eldest of four, and we were blessed with twin boys. She tells everyone how much she looks after them and yet in reality hasn’t looked after them for longer then 10mins as she and dad say “there’s two of them”. It hurts as they prefer to help my brother with his children (partner has 4 parents and a grandparent to help) whereas I have no one. Hubby’s family live 8 hours away and mine live 20mins but we might as live on another planet. Love my mum but hate how she treats our boys, hubby & me like leppers. Hate it.

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  • • mom72550 replied
    • 22 Oct 2014 , 1:15 pm

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  Oh that’s just hard.

I lost my mum nearly 6 years ago now and i wish everyday that i could have her back.
No matter how much you argue or annoy each other just remember to call each other at the end of each day and tell each other you love them as you never know when you wont be able to do that.

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  • • Mummy1214 replied
    • 14 Oct 2014 , 12:41 pm

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  My mums been gone for almost 8 years now and didn’t get to meet any of her grandchildren. My MIL also passed away 17 years ago. No matter how much they annoy you, it’s better than wishing they were still here every single day.

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  • • 
    • • Kelly replied
      • 14 Oct 2014 , 6:11 pm

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    Hugs xx

I feel your pain… Love my mum but we are so different it rubs me the wrong way. My mum doesn’t make anything about herself. She never has an opinion and it is always about everyone else.. not a bad thing unless you are constantly want to know what is happening in others lives.

My Mum’s fine. It’s my MIL that drives me nuts. It’s always about her.

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  • • mom58527 replied
    • 12 Oct 2014 , 11:42 pm

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  haha thats crazy
  i love my mil, shes amazing, my mum is the issue

My mum is now in her late eighties but when I had my own children she was unbearable when she used to visit. One day before she came I had swept the kitchen, as soon as she came, guess what she did. She swept the kitchen again. She disapproved of me taking my eldest (her favourite – my parents had looked after my son at 6 months because I got cancer) to playgroup. She complained that I asked him one day to tidy his toys (we’d been doing it for a month)before watching TV.. Wow! did I get it. She told me that since I was the mother I should do it. These sort of comments were made nearly every time I invited her up and a argument arose in front of my son. She also gave him money in front of my other two children (without giving them a cent) She would not take it back when I asked her. Everything had to be her way! This caused friction not only between our family but between my sister and I. When my husband approached her years later ( I told him when my son was in his late teens) she just said he was her grandson. We pointed out that she had five other grandchildren. But she just shrugged.
No one knew I went to a councillor, who told me nothing. I worked out that I think she needed to be needed. That is why she has lived so long.

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  • • mom58527 replied
    • 12 Oct 2014 , 11:45 pm

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  wow! im surprised you lasted that long without saying something
  i go off at my mum about things sometimes, but if she was playing favourites with my children i wouldn’t stand for it!
  that just hurts the other children in the long run, and can cause issues in the future
  i know this because i was the “favourite” grandchild, and my brother and cousins are still hurt over it, even though i havent spoken to my grandparents in 10 years

I love my mummy to but seriously not interested in what she had in her sandwich lol