Managing ADHD - Real Mum story on MoM

9 Comments

Well this isn’t really a story but more of a journey that I’m hoping I can go to my back up team – the ever supportive mums on here with. My son was diagnosed with ADHD by a Dr specialising in this are over a year ago. My son also has some of the often co-existing things like occasionally oppositional defiance and can become quite self critical and believes he isn’t any good at things. I guess also another compounding factor is that in the last year he has gone through some major things in terms of his father and I having a custody dispute that has only just settled. He tends to get interrogated by his father, which I don’t think helps and he gets anticipatory anxiety about going to his father’s place but once there is fine. The main thing we need to get under control is school at the moment. Now don’t get me wrong I know there are so many misconceptions about kids with ADHD out there and you see things on television programs that don’t help the cause like out of control children smashing walls etc- that is not my child. My child is warm, affectionate, cuddly and everyone says has exceptional manners. At school they have developed a traffic light system to track what sort of day he has had and have asked me to discuss this with him. At the parent teacher interview I said I had also gone one step further and said that if he gets a red light then there is no television or electronics for 1 day. I’m thinking of getting a wobble cushion because he tends to fidget a bit. I work full time and am on my own. Are there any mums out there who can make suggestions or tell me their story and what they have done or even some websites to help or buy products to help. Thanks in advance mums.

Posted anonymously, 27th July 2014

9 Comments

- - ashblonde said
  - 01 Aug 2014
    1:56 pm
My eldest son was diagnosed with ADHD when he started school & when he started the medication his behaviour improved. He struggled at school but he became a mechanic & married his love of his life & produced a beautiful granddaughter that we love & adore. He still currently takes the medication to help his concentration but he has managed to stay on track. Conflicts are the hardest issues for ADHD sufferers so keeping him as stress free as possible helps them cope. Hopefully for your son he may grow out of it, & in his adult life he will manage more easily. You sound a very understanding Mum & I’m sure you are doing all the rights things for your boy.
- hopefullyheidi replied
  
  02 Aug 2014 , 7:46 am
  Thanks so much for your advice, having had a son yourself with ADHD. I do agree that’s it’s so important to keep them as stress free as possible also. Until you said it it, I hadn’t really though about stress being so associated with the condition, but now I think about it just about every child (I work in a sort of health related industry) that I have ever met tends to worry a little more at times than a child without ADHD. It came up in my son’s Connors scale testing for ADHD that he showed signs of potentially having some anxiety. Since the custody battle his father made us all go through has ended and I have put as many things as I can in place to reduce the stress that he has been going through and he is not going to one house one week and one the next, everyone seems to say he seems far more settled. Thanks so much for sharing your story with me as well.
  - ashblonde replied
    
    02 Aug 2014 , 9:40 pm
    
    I’m so pleased your son is coping more, hats off to you Mumma! I also had a partner that didn’t believe at the time we had a problem but thanks to Westmead Childrens Hosptial we got answers!
- - Kelly said
  - 28 Jul 2014
    5:40 pm
I dont personally have any experience with children who are diagnosed with ADHD, but i do have a friend whos son has been.
She also has to have certain things in place with him and has to have very clear rules with him no ifs buts maybes.
Her son takes medication now and she says that it has calmed him down so much.
She is also not with his father anymore and they both found that if they actually worked together their son was so much better so they just stopped all the arguing and name calling and things are so much better.
Hope things can get sorted for your son but it may be worth a chat to the doctor about medication.
- hopefullyheidi replied
  
  28 Jul 2014 , 7:50 pm
  Thanks for your advice Kelly. It is a shame his father and I cannot communicate about this issue. He doesn’t believe our son has it, or that it exists, despite the fact that he is a scientist. I have tried on so many occasions to communicate and get along but the other parties won’t have a bar of it. I now use a communication book to keep his father informed of all things to do with his health and get his ADHD specialist Dr to send a copy of the report to his father every time we go, so he is kept abreast of what is going on as the custody situation has recently changed. I do agree that a child who feels divided loyalty tends to suffer more with some of the behaviours. Since things have settled down and the court case has ended (it wasn’t my choice to go his father wanted to go through it), my son seems a more settled boy and can follow a routine and not spending one week here one week there seems to have been of real benefit to him, rather than having different rules at different houses. Plus I have been able to have a lot more involvement with the school and we can be on the same page in terms of action plans.
- - BellaB said
  - 28 Jul 2014
    12:48 pm
It sounds like you’re doing a lot of good things already – I don’t have personal experience, but wanted to wish you luck.
- hopefullyheidi replied
  
  28 Jul 2014 , 3:23 pm
  Thank you so much for saying that
- - no1ladydj said
  - 27 Jul 2014
    11:35 pm
I don’t have personal experience with ADHD, but my niece’s oldest son was diagnosed a year ago, so I asked her for advice. She gave me details of the following website, which she said has been the most amazing help to her, in so many ways. I hope that it helps you too.

http://www.everydaywithadhd.com.au/adhd-support-groups.html
- hopefullyheidi replied
  
  28 Jul 2014 , 12:38 am
  I’m now going to out myself as the person who wrote this story because I must say a very special thank you to you for having gone to the trouble to ask your niece for advice for me. He is currently in the 50% of children that don’t need medication, but require strategies to manage the condition. This will be a wonderful help and I thank you so very much.