I also have been married nearly 30 years and some times my husband gets so angry and tired and he also suffers from Anxiety. I intend to just give me space to do whatever he wants to do really basically dont say a word to him only if its necessary it works he soon gets over it

Time apart! Do you have a hobby? Something that allows you to leave the house, and hubby!, on a regular basis?
I find with my hubs, if we spend too long cooped up together, we’re at each other’s throats! lol. But a few hours away, we both gain perspective, and temporary inner peace! Good luck! HTH.

that is ok. the differences make it fun and at least he thinks for himself

great

We’ve been married 32 years and I hear you! I’ve developed a knack of tuning out. When hubby starts his Victor Meldrew grumpy old man whinge about something – in my mind I just go to my happy place and he becomes background noise lol!!

Firstly congratulations on being married for 30years.
I think tho if you have been with him for that long you must of either put up with it or he gives in in the end.
I think in every marriage you both have to learn to give and take a bit.

I think if you’ve been together 30 years already something must be going right! Aside from that I think the main thing is to keep communicating. Give each other space when need be, have individual interests and pursuits but always come back at the end of the day to talk things out and over with the other half.

Sometimes you just need to learn to bite your tongue & take a deep breath instead. Congratulations for keeping it together this long. Keep smiling!

Cheers 30yrs is along time ,maybe heading towards 50 ,we going to our next phase .

I have been married 28 years and their are times I could throttle him and we have our nit picking times at each other but they only time we were blowing up more was once the kids moved out and it was just us. All we had to do was get a routine for only 2. We have our moments when it seems there are more times we disagree than agree but their are times I just switch him off. It’s not worth disagreeing with trivial things just think in your head you are right and he is wrong You would not have made it to 30 years with out your fair share of disagreements but also he could be stressing over some thing as this is when my Hubby starts.

30 years sounds like a success to me!!

Oh dear, i know the feeling!!! My partner never agrees with me on anything at all….we have what he calls “debates”…..i’m like, no, they are disagreements!!!!
I can’t recommend any quick fix, other than if you want to have your own opinion, then don’t change just for him, after all, you have been together for 30 yrs already, why change now?? haha

Ive learnt to just take it all in over a coffee or tea eventually it pans out

Maybe just choosing your battles. Things that are major decisions or issues are worth disagreeing over and perhaps the small things that just niggle and are minor differences of opinion are worthwhile letting ride. If you can afford it maybe some time away together? Everyday life stresses can sometimes affect us without us necessarily being aware they are at the core root of what is going on.

I think you are doing well for 30 years. I think men are just grumpy pants.

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  • • mel1 replied
    • 02 Aug 2014 , 7:11 pm

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  Well said Tilly. Sometimes men are just grumpy. Best advice is to pick your battles, if its important make a fuss. If not, ignore. Works for us, married 25 years!

I find that trying to walk away and think ” does it really matter?” Can stop a lot of squabbles before they start.