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I had moved on from my ex who I had been with for a year and now had been a part of for about 5-6 months. I’d always had irregular periods so when I skipped one, I didn’t think much of it especially when I bled again the next month. I decided to get a test anyway just for piece of mind. I was gobsmacked when it came out positive. I was only 19!
Seeing as how I had been with my boyfriend at the time for 3 months, I immediately told him, believing that he was the father of my child. I remember the moment I told him very clearly. He was silent for a little while and I just looked down, but he was calm; he told me that we could do this. Naturally, we made an appointment with the doctor, but nothing could have prepared us for what the doctor said. He asked me to lay down on the exam table and felt my belly. This look of shock came over his face and he felt my belly again to double check. The next few words shattered my world completely – “You’re quite advanced.” “How advanced?” “Well, I think you’re about 25 weeks.”. It took a few seconds for it to click for me. 25 weeks… Wait, that’s 6 months! My boyfriend and I both knew at that moment that he was not my baby’s father. The drive home was completely silent and when he dropped me off, we both broke down. We’d gotten so excited about having a baby and it was all blown away in just 3 sentences. It took about a week for him to talk to me again, but he said that he’d stay with me anyway, despite not being the father.
When I went for the dating scan, I asked to know the gender which turned out to be male. I was having a little baby boy and his name came into mind immediately. Alexander. No other name fit, not for lack of trying. The day of the ultrasound, I contacted my ex and met up with him to show him the ultrasound. When I told him and showed him, he asked me to abort the baby, so I told him that I couldn’t due to how far along I was (not that I’d be willing to consider it anyway). He ten asked me to put him up for adoption and when I said no, he told me that he wanted nothing to do with the baby. I went home angry, but accepted that he just wouldn’t be there for his son.
The next 3 months were an absolute breeze. I was the ‘magical pregnancy unicorn’ and was enjoying being pregnant. When it came down to it, I was in labour for a whopping 30 hours and, although my ex wasn’t there to see his son’s birth, my boyfriend was and one of my close friends. My friend was there as soon as I was admitted and stayed for the rest of the 18 hours, supporting me through it and she even the cord which I doubt she’ll ever forget. After the birth, I couldn’t be happier – I finally had my little boy in my arms!

It’s one year on and it’s been one hell of a ride. My boyfriend broke up with me 2 months after my son’s birth, but we’re still good friends and I visit him all the time. My son’s father stepped up to the plate and he’s a fantastic dad. I’ll never want to be with him again, but I’m so happy that my son gets to have a relationship with him. My friend that was in the delivery room with me is still a good friend of mine and her son is actually just about to turn 2. As for me, I’ve been through post natal depression and have a few persistent health issues, but Alex is the light of my life. I’ll be 21 in December and I’m just excited to move forward with my life.

Posted by noxx, 15th November 2014

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