Hello!

My 5 year old is in preprimary and we had parent interviews and the teacher told me that dd is great accademically but is super sensitive and is crying up to 15 times a day and it is disrupting the other kids as they give her sympathy. The teacher and i think it is more of an attention thing as she isnt like this at home. The teacher said it has been going on for the last 3 weeks. I dont know what to do to help my dd get through this as it sounds lile she gets really really upset. Any advice would be great thank you


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  • I see this is an old question. Hope your daughter isn’t crying in class anymore ! How did it decrease in the end ?


  • Maybe try to come up with a game plan with teacher.
    Can teacher send her to back of class and ask her to do deep breathing and count to 10? Might distract her and create a release for her. Is there anxiety or a trigger for the crying? What makes her stop? Anything going on at home or school? Any changes like a house move or something to disrupt her routine? Is she sleeping enough? Is she sick?

    I hope this helps!


  • I cannot think of what to suggest other than talking to her and asking he what is causing her to cry.


  • Does it have something to do with separation anxiety perhaps?


  • Maybe the other kids are taking something from her during lessons (could be pencils or other stationery) or books, drink bottle etc. One of them could be kicking her or attacking her in some way where the teacher can’t see what is happening (e.g. under the desk or from behind). Are they allowed to go to the toilet during class time?? Maybe teach her to go during the day at home equivalent to recess times and lunch time whether she reckons she needs to or not. They should be allowed to take a drink bottle into class in case they get dehydrated which can make some feel ill.


  • This is just my opinion. I’m not an expert in this field. I have two children one at school and in 1st grade. I find it strange that the teacher would only mention the crying at the parent teacher night and not the day it started. At the school my son attends I have never heard of such an incident occurring. I’m alerted by phone call if he injures himself in the play yard for example. The teacher has a duty of care to let you know if any behaviour changes in your child. I wouldn’t find it acceptable to tell you at parent teacher night after it has already been going on for a while and that often. To find out what is going on with the other kids I would invite the kids she is trying to be friends with to a social outing with their parents and observe what goes on between the kids to ascertain what their relationships are really like and see if there is any hint of bullying. You can certainly learn a lot by observing how the kids interact. I don’t think a child would just “put on tears” so often and, you said it yourself, she isn’t like that at home – that is a big red flag for me. She obviously feels secure and happy at home but not at School. If the behaviour continues yes, seek help with a psychologist but as the behaviour isn’t happening at home suggests the problem is with the school environment to me. The fact that the teacher speaks as if your child being upset is disrupting the other kids bothers me. What about your child? She is the upset one? What is the teacher doing to make her feel more a part of the class and not need to cry for attention?


  • So great that she opened up to you and is sort of admitting it is attention related so you can have a bit of ease knowing that it isnt anything super bad affecting her. Hopefully she grows out of it.


  • Its hard to be in a class with 20 so other kids around when the child may be used to getting more attention at home, some kids may cause problems or cry to get the attention they crave. Im sure she will grow out of it but for now goodluck with what you decide to do


  • I’m so glad she opened up to you and things are improving


  • Thanks ladies. She did open up to me about why she is crying so much and she said it is because she wants her friends to keep being her friend. The class is a great caring group of kids and they give quite a bit of sympathy when needed. I have explained to her that isnt a good way to keep friends. Very hard to explain to a 5 year old and the last two days have apparently been great according to the teacher.


  • yes i know that shcool can be tough on the littlies and i also suggest that you ask the teacher whether your child is coping. She is halfway through the year. I hope that she is not getting bullied even by the older kids or maybe she needs some more friends. Hopefully she will talk to you. I suggest trying an activity that you both love like cooking and build your bond so she will feel comfortable to talk to you about what she is experiencing.


  • I have had three very different children with different emotional needs. I kept my son home until he was turning six the year he attended school. I taught him to read and write and do maths and science and we had great days out excursions and I would take my girls out of school on occasion on these excursions. These were learning days out at museums and science centres as well as bike rides and long weekends. We would have days out bush walking and nature park adventures where we would talk to the park rangers and they would show us around. My kids teachers loved the fact that I too took a great interest in my kids education as there is a lot to learn outside of the classroom. Have a think about what the teachers are really saying to you. Your child is academically ok but maybe immature (emotionally not ready) and needs time to grow. Sitting in a classroom for 30 hours a week might be too boring and causes your child sadness. This happened to my child but she kept it in (the tears) until she came home or in the car. She was labeled ‘Gifted’ and the school could not cope with this they set homework task’s for her. Home was not the problem it was too boring at school. Sitting for hours on end in a chair at a table drove her crazy. Lucky that she told me this so I took action and changed schools and also had a good relationship with the Principal, the head teacher’s and her teacher. They all agreed with my method of taking the kids out for educational experiences that would enhance their knowledge. You have a long road to travel and your child will be fine in the right school with your support. Good luck I wish you well on this education journey.


  • If you live in Victoria its been a long term for the kids. My grade one son needed four days off school due to illness in the last thee weeks. I find the longer terms a little hard on the younger kids as they do seem to loose interest at the end of term. If it keeps up i would just ask your son what makes him so upset. It could just be a tired thing, or maybe someone on his table is upsetting him and the teacher isn’t picking up on it. There has to be a reason it might not just be wanting attention.


  • talk to her about what is happening. Maybe she is just overwhelmed. Make sure that she is feeling well and getting enough sleep,breakfast etc.


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