Broken hearted about a child that’s not mine

My family dynamics r very confusing for anyone willing to sit down and listen. Long story short, my step child lives with me, and her half sibling is in kinship care after th state really messed up in Forster care. I love my step daughters baby sibling, for 2 years of their life they was a part of my home, a part of my family and we were so close. His case worker always told me I was their favourite. Now, they r with maternal family, and their head has been filled with so much a child shouldn’t even hear… th horrid things they say too me at school breaks my heart. Their sister hears it n she’s upset. It’s not their fault, I’m not mad at them, but it’s so hard to hide th hurt from their words, from as child I wish I agreed to take in to my home fully time (even bigger confusing story) I honestly feel like iv lost my own child. How do I stop this feeling

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- - Ellen said
  - 17 Jul 2023
    7:56 am
AW bless very hard ! I’m glad that you see that that it’s not their fault and that their head is filled with this stuff by someone else. Could you express your concern to the case worker ? When that leads to a closed door I would seek some counseling to talk about this with a professional. You could this as a loss of a child, a grieving process indeed
- - mom160421 said
  - 20 Dec 2020
    5:13 pm
I honestly don’t know what to advise. I hope you’ve been able to work things out.
- - mom462038 said
  - 29 Apr 2020
    6:40 pm
Oh my heart just breaks for you and these children. What an awful,situation to be in. I do hope things have improved for you all
- - celebrity said
  - 08 Aug 2019
    8:58 am
Sadly you will always feel like this. If emotional abuse is happening you need to report it in the best interests of the child. I did foster care for decades and truly know how you feel. You need to be their voice.
- - Blossom said
  - 06 Aug 2019
    11:01 pm
If you are really concerned if the little one old enough to write things down and you contact his case Manager. If there is definitely abuse the Police may be able to help. I personally know of one case.
- - neat22 said
  - 06 Aug 2019
    7:05 pm
You don’t have to stop it. You feel hurt and that’s o.k.
Unless it’s endangering try and feel objective when the kids tell you things. Naturally you feel protective.
Life’s a journey and it’s great you have angels passing through.
- - Myrlie said
  - 05 Aug 2019
    7:56 pm
Sorry no advice. I do remember my Mum being upset that she couldn’t foster her sisters kid because we didn’t have room, and he ended up being given to his abusive father. Damage was done and he was not led down a good path. The only thing I can suggest is to keep a record of any issues, report it, and just try your best to be a positive influence in their life while you can.