I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. Mum guilt is not pleasant at all and I’d love to say that there is an easy fix but I don’t think there is. The guilt comes from society, media and ourselves. We can be part of the change though by not shaming mums and standing up for them when they are shamed. Hang in there mumma. You are doing the best for your family .

I had to become a stay at home mum or I would regret it for the rest of my life. The guilt for me was crippling

I think in time it passes, you are not just working for yourself but them too

You don’t or determine the amount of guilt by looking at the kids, if they are happy and have everything they want, you are doing an awesome job

Oh I absolutely know how you are feeling. It is horrible.
What helped/helps me is dedicating uninterrupted time to my kids every evening and then on the weekends too. Planning activities that the kids can look forward to doing with you, whether it’s drawing, puzzles, board games, reading a story, watching a movie, going for a walk. When you see them enjoying those moments with you, you will feel much more at ease and will give you all something to look forward to.

You don’t, but you do remind yourself that you are exactly who you need to be.

This is a fantastic question to ask and one I think so many mums struggle with.
Congratulations on your little surprises and how exciting starting your nursing career – this is something I want to work towards.
It has been so great reading through the answers that you have gotten as they are helping me also.
Take every moment in with them as you can- if you love your job and it is helping you be a better mum and the kids are safe and happy going to daycare while you’re at work then I don’t think you need to feel guilty mumma – you’re doing what’s right for you and your kids!

What a great question.. I found that I was a better mum when working but have never been able to get rid of the mothers guilt. My kids are now pretty much adults so I have been able to talk to them about it and they assure me (all the time) that they never felt let down or that I didn’t give them enough.

I bet you have super happy, healthy, clever kids!!! Use their happiness to gage if you should suffer from mum guilt or not. I’m going to go with, or not. Us Mums are allowed to enjoy things that are away from our babies! Not to mention the positive role model you are being for them!!

Maybe you’re not quite ready. Work is something you will probably do for life, but raising children usually isn’t. Are you able to do half/half so you can still enjoy your nursing, and enjoy time at home with the kids?

Mum guilt never goes away, no matter how you’re living your life. Just do the best you can, no one can do anymore

You are investing in their future. You need to focus on that. I bet your kids will be proud of you as they get older and see the sacrifices you’ve made for them

I don’t think that you ever do and as they age the guilt factor changes to other guilts. You just learn to live with it xx

I was a stay at home mum as I didnt have my kids until later on in my Thirties so I wanted to look after them myself I dont regret it we have had to struggle with money and other stuff but you know what I dont regret it one bit as they have grown into beautiful human beings

2 little surprises sounds like twins! Even as a SAHM you can still have guilt, for example that you are not doing enough, or aren’t being there in the ‘right way’ (I was forever cooking and cleaning cloth nappies) and felt guilty that I wasn’t playing in the park early evening like the mums who worked. I was too exhausted! SO it may be hard to move past the judgment we pass on ourselves. Just be kind to yourself. Do what you enjoy. Know that you are still there for them in the big picture, you will see them grow and you will share life with them in everyway. They are your children and nothing can ever change that. Enjoy your work and being the best version of yourself that you can be will only be good for them, to see you happy and role modelling a vibrant, fulfilling life. Wow. A great example!

Honestly as mums I don’t think it’s something we can ever get over. I would just enjoy what time you do have with them.

You can have everything as a mum, but you just can’t have it all at once. Put your little one in care with a trusted provider or family daycare and start your career. You will still have lots of family time at home, but you don’t want to not use your degree which you have worked so hard for!

Every child is different, and so are their experiences. There’s no way you could ever give them exactly what their older siblings got – and that’s not a bad thing! Focus on the fact they get different benefits from you being a working mother. Different is not worse.

I honestly believe it is quality not quantity of time that matters. Also, their only experience will be what you have arranged, they wont know any different or miss out for having a different experience to their older siblings.
If you gave it up to be at home, you may feel a little bit of resentment seeping out and living your life soley around them and not your needs, plus being a working mum is a great role model for all your kids. I think mumma guilt kicks in over pretty much anything one way or another, and it’s up to us to shrink it back to a minimal less impacting size. Men arent guilted this way, why should you? Happy mumma, happy kids. Dont beat yourself up over it.

Here’s the thing….they won’t know they were raised differently. It’s not selfish to take time to do things you love. If you give it up, you’ll only end up with festering resentment that may spill over onto your kids or partner.
If you make the time you spend with them quality time, they won’t miss anything.