Hello!

When my baby hit the 4 month sleep regression, I got into the habit of feeding her in bed, which led to co-sleeping, as it was the only way either of us could get any sleep (hubby sleeps in the spare room). She used to sleep in her bassinet all through the night prior to this. I’m struggling to get her back into her own cot now (yes, I’ve made a rod for my own back). She goes down into it fine at bedtime but when she wakes during the night for a feed, it’s impossible to put her back in it – she just cries and screams to the point where we are both distressed and I just give in and put her down next to me. I’ve tried patting, shushing, white noise, singing lullabies. Nothing helps. Does anyone have any tips please (without judgment)?!


Want more real mum questions sent to you?

You'll need to check this email to complete your signup.
  • My Gran gave me the best piece of advice. Always start as you mean to go on. Stop and think is this something I will be happy to continue to do and if the answer is no then dont start.
    I have used that advice many times in my life and its seriously the best.


  • No judgement here at all. I’ve been through a stage where miss wanted our bed, and with a working husband and two teens also in the house my need to keep miss as quiet as possible ment giving into her wants. My child was older though around 3. Would it be possible to put her crib next to your bed and put her in there while your hand is touching her? Might also mean a couple of round nights where she screams but the secret is to stay strong while still being there so they know your there. It’s tough. And hurts hearing them scream but they’re quick learners. They usually learn after a few days that my screaming isn’t going to get me into that bed. Good luck mumma. You got this.


  • No judgement here ,I did the exact same thing, then came a point that I couldn’t go on,something had 2 change, I’d patterned her bottom all through feeding ,so took it up again, I would give her,her last feed, patting her bottom all the while,till she fell off 2 sleep then, very slowly, still patting, I would transfer her 2 her cot, put her down & continue 2 pat 4 another 5 minuites, ensuring that she was still settled & be very patient while patting 2 endure she was truly asleep & it worked like a charm, that’s how we got her 2 sleep in her cot, we continued that way 4 many months esp if there were people in the house & she didn’t want 2 sleep!, oh yes, she fought it but we were very patient & made sure that we won,Every time!!


  • I think you need to be firm and together with your hubby, agree that you’re going to let bubs try to settle herself. Hubby needs to be on board and supportive of this.
    Once you’ve fed her, put her back to bed and when she wakes (I presume the bassinette is in a seperate room?) get hubby to keep getting up to her. My hubby used to do that with our son. He’d crack if it he saw me and if I keep going in to him, he wouldn’t go to sleep but once he worked out that Mum wasn’t coming in and it was just Dad, he’d give up and go back to sleep.
    We had to move the cot out of our room though for that to work.
    Good luck.


  • Some people let them cry for a bit and then pick them up to settle. Eventually the cries get shorter and they settle on their own


  • Keep persisting by putting her in her own bed at bedtime. Along will come a night where your baby is so tired and will sleep through in her own bed. Or will go back to her room without a fuss. And it will get easier


  • As everyone said, unfortunately being consistent. Try putting her in and patting and shushing, consistently and keep trying.


  • Peristence and consistency of bub in the cot. It may take some time, but bub has learned how to go from cot to bed, so can learn to go from bed back to cot.


  • Consistent bed time routines are key. It may take a few weeks of training but I think if you stick to the same routines every night your little one should eventually learn to settle and sleep on her own. It will be tough but stick it out.


  • I’m having the same issue at the moment, my little one was sleeping great, then she got covid and teeth started to come through and since sleep has not been out friend. There’s some great advice here that I will definitely be using as well. Good luck with your little one.


  • To get your baby sleeping in their own cot. Put them in the cot for a few minutes each day and slowly extend the time spent. Also while they are in the cot potter around their room so they know your there. Leave a top youve worn in the cot that way they can still smell you. Sleeping bags are best as they. Hug the baby


  • We had trouble with getting our kids to sleep in the cot, too. The third one actually did then we moved house and the bolts for the cot were lost so we couldn’t use it until we got new ones and we were back to the beginning again. I personally couldn’t do controlled crying or sleep training. It just feels so cruel to leave a tiny distressed baby crying for hours.
    Start with day sleeps in the cot again and go from there. Good luck.


  • Think you have some lovely ideas here for you to try – I would only be going over the same ground. Good luck


  • I did this with our second baby. Sleep was the priority at the time, so we did what we needed to do to get through. Best wishes with whichever road you take.


  • It might seem mean, but sometimes the only solution is a bit of tough love. She needs to learn to self soothe. Put her in her cot and let her cry. You can go in to check on her every so often, but it’s important to not get her out of the cot. Also, involve your partner- he doesn’t smell like milk and sometimes a dad can be the best one to help bub settle. Good luck!


  • I’m still co-sleeping with my 10 month old lol, but I actually love having her close to me even though I get a lot less sleep. There is a lot of good research on the benefits of safe co-sleeping on child development, particularly given this is what the majority of the world still practices since it follows our biological makeup. I’m not advocating co-sleeping versus cot sleeping, just another perspective since you need to choose what is best for you and your baby.

    Some of the things I’ve read include making the cot a positive place while awake to reinforce that it is a good place to go, and the Huckleberry app is also useful like another reader mentioned. I think the gentle sleep approach is probably the most graded way to do it, though it takes longer from what I understand. Good luck and best wishes! May we all get some good sleep tonight. /fingers crossed


  • Tough times and unfortunately what works for one may not work of others. I did sleep school (didn’t work) then read books and tried a few things. Controlled crying worked for us but it took 4 days to see any results and it was traumatic for us all. Good luck


  • I went through this until my son was 9 months old. For us it was when he weaned from breastfeeding, suddenly he wasn’t interested in sleeping with us anymore. He stills sleeps in our room in his cot, and seems to feel safe and secure there.


  • I started my daughter in her cot in her own room at 6 weeks. I always fed her in a chair in her bf I’m or lounge and then put her in her bed. The room had block out blinds and I would make sure she was all snug in her wrap. Make sure the temp is at a good level and maybe play some white noise music. Good luck


  • When you want to break this pattern it’s maybe best not to feed her in bed, but in a chair.
    Alternatively you could move her cot to her own room and have a nursing chair in her room; so out of your room, out of your bed


Post your reply

To post a review/comment please join us or login so we can allocate your points.

↥ Back to top

Thanks For Your Star Rating!

Would you like to add a written rating or just a star rating?

Write A Rating Just A Star Rating
Join