It sounds like you’re feeling incredibly hurt and unappreciated, especially after all the effort you put into making the trip memorable for Ayla and Kiera. It’s understandable that you’d feel upset when Ayla, despite being treated generously, wasn’t as engaged or respectful during the trip. You gave her attention, gifts, and experiences, but it seems she didn’t reciprocate in a way that acknowledges your efforts.

You’re not wrong for feeling frustrated or expressing your feelings. Communication is key, and it sounds like Ayla didn’t respect that or appreciate what was done for her. It’s tough when it feels like your kindness isn’t acknowledged, and it’s natural to feel hurt. You have every right to set boundaries and expect respect, especially after everything you’ve done for her.

The situation with Kiera, having a disability, also seems to add another layer of complexity, with Ayla’s jealousy not helping matters. It’s clear you were just trying to create happy family memories, and it’s unfortunate that Ayla’s behaviour overshadowed that. It may help to have an honest conversation with Ayla, but also take care of yourself and your needs first. Your feelings are valid, and you’re not wrong for being upset.

I think Ayla sounds like a very selfish, self-centred human being. I wouldn’t be in a hurry to take her anywhere anymore. I think you obviously spoil her too much. Maybe put more time into Kiera, who obviously respects you and appreciates what you do.

Wow, such a long complaint. Seems you didn’t enjoy it so don’t do it again

Okay, so Ayla acted like a teenager – horrible. But I do wonder how much of her life she’s felt pushed aside because of her sister’s medical needs. You barely mention them but they sound major. Not wrong to tell Ayla off, but maybe you’re not looking at it from her perspective.

you sound like great grandparents, thats so cool you took them to perth

You cant help how you feel.
From the sounds of it you have over indulged her so she feels its her right to get the things you buy for her. Just stop but make sure what you give one you give the other something equal. The trip to Perth should have been enough. $500 worth of clothing on top of that was over indulgent unless she had nothing to start with.
Clamp down until she changes her attitude to life and becomes more reasonable.

definitely a tough scenario

She sounds like a fairly normal 18 year old. The world revolves around them and they find it difficult to see past there own being. Her brain is still undergoing the developmental changes that start at around 14. She will mature and come out the other side. In the meantime she needs loads of unconditional love and guidance. If you want to buy her things ie ; presents, it’s unfair to attach conditions to these too. For example, it’s not fair to say I bought you clothes so you have to give me your attention. I don’t think that there would be many 18 year olds who would chose to spend time with their grandparents over their friends. I’m just wondering if maybe you dropped your expectations she would stop failing you?

Teenagers can be tough going indeed. It helps when you involve them as much as possible and give them choice and sense of control.

Teenage girls are something else. I remember hitting 20 and feeling awful for the sass and selfishness inflicted on my mum. Spending time with friends trumps everything at that age, then you grow up and realise how fleeting time is. You’ve communicated your feelings, and have been so generous with time and money, maybe take a step back on those fronts for a little. Her attitude will hopefully change as she matures.
It sounds like you had a lovely trip. I have such wonderful memories of those locations growing up in Perth and I’m sure both kids will (eventually) feel the same.

Teenagers can be awful. She obviously didn’t want to be there, it wasn’t her thing, so next time just concentrate on Keira. Maybe as Keira gets older run the holiday through with her before hand to make sure she is still keen. Just try to forget the drama with Ayla, don’t harp on it. Don’t invite her again as she is an adult now.

Absolutely not, you are not wrong with how you feel. Here’s why:
Your feelings are valid: You invested a lot of time, money, and emotional energy into this trip. It’s understandable to feel hurt and disrespected when your granddaughter didn’t reciprocate the effort, especially during family activities.
Boundaries are important: Setting boundaries, like asking her to put away her phone during dinner, is healthy. Her reaction shows a lack of respect on her part.
It’s not just about the gifts: While the material things are generous, the real issue is the lack of gratitude and consideration for the experiences you wanted to share with her.
Focus on the positive: You sound like a loving grandparent who created wonderful memories with Kiera. That’s the most important thing.

Here’s how to handle this situation:
Communicate with your daughter: Have an open and honest conversation with your daughter about how Ayla’s behaviour made you feel. It’s important for her to understand your perspective.
Take a break: It’s okay to distance yourself a little from Ayla for a while. You deserve to process your emotions and protect your own well-being.
Set expectations for future family experiences: Make it clear beforehand that participation and attention are expected, not just physical presence.
Remember: Ayla is still young and navigating her own path. It’s possible she’ll realize her mistakes and mature with time. In the meantime, focus on the strong bond you have with Kiera and the joy she brings you.

I am sorry you experienced this while on your holiday. Teenagers can be tough to take out on adventures and holidays, they want to be able to be independent and do there own thing. There is no excuse for rude behaviour though and she should never have spoken to you like that or treated you like that. Sounds like you are a wonderful grandparent trying to build some wonderful memories with your grandkids but unfortunately teenagers don’t get this and everything revolves around there little world. I would be upset too as I am sure you had great expectations of what this holiday was going to be like.