If the father wants to be part of the babies life and support your daughter, that’s great. Your daughter is lucky to have such supportive parents. I’m sure everything will work out fine 🙂

I suspect that having a child may also mature your daughter in to more independance, it maay be a good learning curve for her

Your are amazing. Being so considerate for your daughter and feeling what you do! I would have the same thoughts to..and I had my first at 19.

Once bubs is here she will be able to get some financial support for baby, there is also alot of great services out there to help new/young mums that would be willing to help in regards to clothes/cot etc if she needed. As an example google sunshine Bendigo.

First of all deep breathes!

I was the kid that came home pregnant at 17, I stabilised my job and we got a rental and I’m now 25 with 3 beautiful children and a business.

It’s time to have a chat with her and let her know it’s time to step up, she’s a big girl and has a big responsibility now. Suggest she begins to contribute to wards being able to buy a 2 bedroom if you really want to buy her a house.

You are very generous to think of purchasing a unit for your daughter. If you think she will struggle when the baby arrives, I would keep her at home for the first three months of the baby’s life. I would love to have my daughter with me when she had her baby. If the father wants to be involved, that is admirable and I would welcome it. Your daughter will be eligible for benefits when she gives up work as well, so she will be able to contribute to her accommodation and food at your home. After the first three months, she should be competent to care for her baby herself.

I’d be encouraging independence, especially financial. While you are there for her and can be there for her in so many ways she needs to look at all her options. She has a causal job so that is a start; once the father’s identity is confirmed they may have to contribute, depending what Centrelink rules are this year. She should also check them out. You may find she moves out as planned, so enjoy the time and keep things positive for all, especially the developing baby. They don’t need any stress hormones!

I agree with mom64645 that it’s most likely not of any benefit in putting yourself at financial risk for the sake of your daughter, you may create dependency and will add stress to your own financial situation

I’m not sure of the benefit in putting yourself at financial risk for the sake of your daughter, that’s not really going to help anyone plus the stress of it all. If she’s going to be a good mum, she’s gotta learn how to do that for herself. She’ll be better off with your emotional and practical support rather than you doing the work and finances for her, but judging her won’t help anyone. Teach her how to be a mum, feeding, sleep routines, changes etc. Start showing her now what it costs by making her purchase what she needs, cot, pram, nappies, clothes etc. This might seem overwhelming right now, but looking back in 20 years time it will have all worked out in the end.

I’d be supporting her at home first but leaving the responsibilty of caring for the child and everything at home with her. Moving out with all this happening may be too much.
I’d be very wary of involving the father until it is proven he actually is. She knows nothing about him.

I was 16 when I first got pregnant and had my beautiful boy at 17, I was still with the father also still living at home, my mum was there she never judged me. My mother let the father of my child move in and eventually at 19 we got married. Not once did mum ever stick her nose in, but I must say having my beautiful son so young made me grow up really quick. So my advice to you is please just be there for your daughter, in the background, she might need you every now and then and she might just grow up over night. Good luck

You need to take a step back. This is your grandchild, and not your responsibility especially financially.
Your daughter made the adult choice of keeping the child, and has the support of the father. She made the adult decision not to use protection.
Your daughter should be helping financially for a 2 bedroom unit, even if it’s just rent. The child is her responsibility.
Unless you’ve supplied your daughter with everything since her birth, and taught her no life skills – you should only be there for your daughter to offer support and guidance, and spending time together as the child’s grandparents.
It is your daughter’s life to live and she needs to be an adult to look after herself and the child.
I have 2 kids (15 and 10) separated from their different fathers (sons cheated on me when he was 2, daughters was verbally abusive to me after I got my TBI). I have had a traumatic brain injury for 8 years.
I married my boyfriend of 7 years in 2022, but he lived with us from 2015.
Last year my 15 year olds behavior was disrespectful and went against our house rules. He bitched to his dad and without my input my parents and his Dad decided my son was going to live during the week at my parents and his Dad and I got him alternate weekends. My parents stopped listening to my point of view on the whole situation and undermined my parenting. It’s recked our relationship.
My son came back to live permanently (his decision) with me last month.
My parents invited us out for tea at a noisy restaurant for my dad’s birthday last week but I said no because of my brain injury and the cost. My parents behind my back and invited my son to stay night and took him alone out for tea. Never minding the 10 year granddaughter who now hates them because they don’t ring and speak to her. We live 20km away.
I know you’re worried about your daughter but she needs to work it out for herself.
I’m not trying to be rude but you have your life plans, and you may not be here to clean up everything she does in the future.

I dont think its smart that you put yourself into financial debit to buy her a unit. If you do this for her then you need to make sure you can do this for all of your children. it might be better to find a place for her to rent instead. I know you think you are helping but sometimes doing this sort of thing just makes a person dependant as they feel that Mum and Dad will always bail them out. I have seen this in action and its amazing that once that monster is created its very hard to teach them Independance. Start as you mean to go on.
As far as the Dad is concerned you need to remember that she is in her 20’s and is an adult. its her job to sort out what involvement she wants from the Dad but if there is to be any input from the Dad then its best to get it all sorted legally rather then just having verbal agreements. To make 100% sure DNA testing should be done also.

I can understand you feel overwhelmed, I think that’s natural when something happens you didn’t expect. You mention your daughter is still relatively a baby and that you can see she will do a lot of growing up very quickly, maybe that’s what needed too. She will have to learn responsibility sooner or later in life, also financial responsibility.