Thank you for all the kind and lovely responses to this! It has truely touched me to hear each and everyone of you and knowing that some of you too, have suffered a loss! I will definitely be gifting her something now after hearing all your views as i agree, its better to ignore or pretend it didnt happen.

This is a tough one as i did not buy my friend a gift when she went through something similar but i did make her a few meals and did some cleaning for her and brought her hot cups of tea/coffee and some snacks to eat. Every person is different and you know your friend better than anyone so do what your gut is telling you.

I think you should know your friend well enough to know if it would be okay. I think some people would love that you took the time and effort and that you cared. Others it may just be a painful reminder. I think if you have spoken to your friend and have an idea of how they are feeling you might get an idea of how to proceed.

I do not think your friend would take it the wrong way. I lost a baby to stillbirth, and the worst thing people could do was say nothing. Seriously, I had people who actively avoided me. Even saying the wrong thing was better, because I could “hear” the good intentions. A small gift would be lovely.

It is a truly terrible time but personally people checking in and people acknowledging the loss and pain helped. People not checking in and avoiding it was actually harder but it is understandable that not everyone can manage these conversations and reach out to people. Always do what feels right and comes from the heart.

What an absolutely thoughtful and wonderful friend! Ah the village, wish you were in my life when I had my miscarriages. You know her best… things like, how long they’ve been trying, is this her first, is it part of IVF, how pregnant was she, etc. Flowers, cakes, a facial or massage would all be welcomed and thoughtful gifts I would imagine.

It’s really lovely you’re thinking of how to comfort her. I’ve unfortunately had this happen a few times this year and a lovely gesture of my sister was to have an order from the cheese cake shop arrive at my door. It was a sweet and simple gesture. I was in the very early stages so I personally wouldn’t have wanted a tangible reminder.

It is a very difficult time and it’s hard for you and your friend to know how you will each handle the situation. I would send flowers rather than a keepsake though. Everyone is different. If the baby was far along it’s even harder. There are many beautiful cards out there nowadays so something heartfelt.

This is such a difficult and emotional time of life and everyone does indeed manage it in their own way. There is no right or wrong way to grieve and knowing there is support is important. The loss of a child stays forever and personally keepsakes have been treasured and helped.

What a sad story! I’m sorry to hear this and I think it’s lovely you want to get something for her. I know what you mean but I think if your friend is a nice person she will see what your doing as a lovely gesture and that you are caring for her and doing something to help her with the grief she is facing.
Good luck with it. I’m sure you will be appreciated