Yep, right from day dot. I make excuses for him, he’s so young, first time dad etc. he didn’t have, he works hard. So I didn’t help things and never changed

Your partner needs to understand that he has a part to play in the family. I hope you were able to sort this out.

Wow, that sounds really tough. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
My partner works full time and I’m at home, with the toddler, bigger kids at school. Hubby helps with cooking one night a week, 1 breakfast on the weekend, he’ll help fold laundry, mows the lawn, attends after school sport and weekend sport. He helps make the beds, will vacuum if asked to.

I think you’ll need to sit down and explain how you feel, what you expect of him, ask he feels about it and what he expects of you. You might need to both compromise on your expectations to get to a healthy reality.

Does he look after the kids while you work? I can understand how frustrating it must be. He also might just be exhausted and not coping as well as some other parents do with full-time house duties. Have an honest conversation and hopefully you can get on the same level.

He needs to consider your feelings and respect you as you have worked all day and he has not!

Put your foot down and insist on him helping. Having said that, I have the same problem and nothing I’ve done has changed him :/

That’s not good. Same problem with mine. I’ld head off to work and ask if he could do done washing. I’ld get home, washing has been started, hubby has gone visiting. He didn’t change, but I did. We’re not together anymore

my husband and I both work but during those difficult times I have found that the best way to resolve issues are to talk about them. Be open and don’t blame or complain just state how you feel. Good luck!

Being direct is the best way and dividing jobs is the best way to go too.

i hope that you are getting the help and support that you need from the hubby now

You cannot change his behavior, you can only change yours. You can stop enabling him to continue as he is. You can stop doing what you do in the home, don’t do his laundry, don’t prepare his meals, and don’t let him share your bed unless he makes the bed and cleans in the house.

You need to talk to him and be specific in what you would like him to do in regard to the household chores and hopefully he will be on board with you. Make a list of daily, and weekly chores and he can then mark them off as he does them. Some men have been raised to do nothing but he can learn what he needs to do. You are the one working and earning so he needs to know that he has to help out and how he can help. If he does not help out it might be time for him to move out! What are you getting out of this relationship?

That would be so frustrating and huge burden for you. You need to sit him down and tell him how you feel, you can only do so much, not fair on you at all.

Talk to him and tell him that unless you can set some ground rules (start small…) you’ll stop washing his clothes and stop making him dinner etc.
If that doesn’t work, make dinner extra delicious, baked chicken works, or his favourite… and when he smells dinner knowing he won’t be having any… well things will change, be string and consistent!
Make sure you reign in the finances, empty the fridge of quick snacks then accidentally lose the car keys… before even attempting to talk to him about all of this, so he doesn’t know its coming… don’t give him the option to drive and get takeout.
Worked for my lazy ex bf. Eventually i got him permanently to wash the dishes and do laundry. Conditioning my dear…
Lucky at this moment my husband is a dream, wonder why hahah

I’ve been married to my hubby for just over 30 years. The first fifteen years he was going to work but also doing night school No help in those days. After he stopped nightschool he just came home and got on his computer, watched TV or went to bed. When I started work (he did cook quite a lot of dinners – 90 percent which were burnt). Being both retired since last year, he reads the newspaper from 7am to noon, has lunch, does an hours gardening andthen gets on the computer or goes to bed, until dinner time and then watches TV. Oh I forgot to say he does put the dishes in the dishwasher (a few are clean but some still have food on). Men! He also attends the footy matches on Saturday with his bother and mates. It was great when the kids were at home but now they are leaving the nest. Though I can’t be too hard on him, he is not a well man – asthma and Barrets Cancer.

Well, not the best answer, but i divorced him!!! I was working full time, and looking after my grandson full time as well, and he only worked part time….he would never do anything to help around the house, and when i asked, caused drama’s so i stopped asking…..even feeding the animals was too much for him….best thing i ever did and i haven’t looked back either….oh, and he is now with someone else and they have just had a baby, good luck to her i say!!!

I have the same issue – He is the sole provider but I have a brain tumour and am pretty sick and to get him to do anything is ridiculous!

When you do the washing for example, only wash your clothes & the babies. If you have tea, cook it as late as you can. So basically if you have to do it all, do to what suits your needs. When he asks why just tell him if he helped out more it would get done quicker & more often. If he doesn’t want to help out, don’t do anything that benefits him.

How old is your child? I have a 2 year old who makes more mess than what I can clean. My partner gets home & if things are done don’t I hear about it. I try many time to explain to him that I was doing the dishes when our daughter came up asking me to do something for her then just forget or I have no time to finish because she always wants my attention.
You just have to remember that your child is not always going to be there saying to you “look at me” or “come what me” but the dishes will be there later or the time for folding clothes will be there later. Maybe instead of you doing the chores when you get home, sit down & play with your child while he cooks. Buy sausages or steak something easy with a few veges, select simple things for him to cook.
Oh & my other half does the dishes…. Your best doing them yourself if you want to eat off clean dishes. LOL

I would sit down with him after your child has gone to bed and talk to him about how you feel and that you would like him to contribute to the household. Ask him if he needs a list of chores or something….otherwise, is he depressed? Depression is a terrible affliction that does cloud judgement and a motivation sucker. If he is ok and doesn’t want to contribute much around the house then he needs to start looking for work. A relationship is a partnership and you both need to work together. Best of luck.

Sit down and talk to him. Try to comprise on it, maybe he can do certain things or alternate days. My husband helps a lot with the kids and housework but everyone tells me that iban lucky. Maybe a roster will help or do a rewards program for him like below lol.