Depending on the age of the teen and overall behaviour, I think taking privileges away can be ok, but first and foremost we talk

So tricky with teenagers, they think they are independent but are not. Hormones are every where whilst they go through this transition. She is testing the boundaries and you need to stay consistent. Keep doing what you are doing and explain to her that she has to be accountable for her actions.

I wonder if this is signal to want attention . Talk to her and check what her feelings are, otherwise it is best to consult counsellor about her behaviour .

Expressions and talks, i know it works!

Taking away computer time, that works a treat here.

Its alot harder for teenagers now with all the social media outputs and trying to keep up with the so called “in crowd” i agree with what you are doing have you explained why you are doing it and let her know how much you love her and only want her to do her best in life good luck

I’m not sure that taking things like tvs or ds’ away from them really work as there is other (bad) things they can turn to that make up for what they are missing out on. What is the reason she’s doing this? Have you split up from her father, moved schools, has she lost friends, does she want to be seen as cool? More talking and support with firm clear boundaries. “if you cannot go to class I will not pay your phone bill etc” type rules.

there are some good comments here

I think your punishment is pretty spot on with what most parents do. I definitely do not condone hitting a child.

I thought your punishment was just. Has the behaviour improved?

I hope its worked out?

I think the technology angle is a good one as kids are so reliant on it these days

At her age I agree with what you did. You have to give tough love at that age and stick to it.

Is there more going on? is something happening at school to make her this way?

Trust is definitely a huge thing with teenagers, I think the best thing you could do I’d just let her know your disappointed because she broke your trust and let her know that your always there for her to talk to no matter what it is about and then walk away. I think they are more affected when your disappointed and have nothing to say to them more than any lecture or groundings you punish them with. My 16 yr old was devastated when she realized how disappointed I was.

I agree with your choices, I was fortunate with my daughter as a single Parent raising from age 9 onward . She was aware already of the expectations and rewards for correct & incorrect behavior and really never gave me any problems but a lot of joy.

I suggest sitting down with her and finding out what’s troubling her. If she doesn’t feel comfortable talking to you maybe seek a councillor or a family/friend whom she feels comfortable talking to. Maybe something has happen she doesn’t want to discuss and this is her way of reaching out to ask for help

My 11 year old has been given me total disrespect, because of her age the punishment was different. No DS for a week. Now that was difficult for her. She was good for a few weeks after I handed it back for good changes. Next time I upped it no DS and cancelled friends get together. Finally she got the message. You have to do what you think is best. if you don’t challenge their bad behaviour they think they can continue with the path they are on. If you can explain to them you hate what they are doing not them. I think that has a hugh impact.

I am one of four girls and was the only one who got grounded. I was 13 and lied to my parents as to my whereabouts. My parents took away phone privileges for a month and they only spoke to me when they had to. After that month whenever I wanted to do anything they would ask for Numbers, parents names and addresses of where I was going. I remember asking why do I have to do all this? Mum turned looked at me straight in the eye and said “If you didn’t lie to me I would trust you. But, at the moment, I can’t trust you.” And also said to me “Trust is earned and built upon. You completely smashed that wall when you lied to us.” Put it this way, I never lied to my parents again and have a close relationship with them because they had been so honest with me.

That sounds fair to me. Sounds like she’s got some stuff going on, will she talk to you?