My 4 year old started having violent tantrums and we couldn’t work out why as there was no specific trigger. We’ve had to change up routines and my work schedule/her care schedule which seems to be working but in saying that it’s been a week. It’s hard but you just need to keep trying new things until you find what works best for you.

It’s a challenging time but it will pass.

My daughter used to throw tantrums every time I went shopping. I tried everything but nothing worked. In the end she threw a massive tantrum in the middle of the shopping street and I just walked away. I didn’t walk far but she didn’t even know I’d gone. I didn’t go far and could see her and she stopped dead! And after that she never threw one again. I used to be so embarrassed and people would say to take more control over your child but it wasn’t that easy. So I read somewhere about walking away and I did it and it worked.

We’re dealing with tantrums at the moment with our daughter who just turned 2, but our son who is almost 4 likes to get a bit rough with his tantrums. We talked to our GP who ran some tests and scans and turned out he was actually having a few medical problems which were causing sever pain. To top it off, boys have an increase in testosterone which their little bodies struggle to deal with

Don’t forget, it’s only a phase. My twins are 4 now. We had so many tantrums. At the moment it’s spitting and scratching.

Its the terrible twos coming on

Remember you are the adult or leader of the pack here. Do not get up or try to mollify your child. Let him know who is boss and ignore the screams. He will soon stop and go onto the next annoying thing to test you with.

Tantrums are normal. Remind him to be gentle and not hit. At this age distraction works best.

It sounds like you have tried a few methods there. I would try ignoring the tantrum and remain sitting firmly in place. Worst thing you could do is reward the behaviour.

Its a test to see who has control. Set boundaries even at such a young age. You are the adult, and you make decisions that is best for both of you. Stay strong, and dont give in.

I second the try and distract the child

Hearing ya mumma! It’s tough but just keep sitting and put him next to you eg. It’s all a faze and he will move onto the next issue soon ????

I went through this with my daughter and it was hard but what I found worked for me was to get down to her level, explain that it is ok to let out her frustration and that you were there when she was ready for a hug, I would then get up and walk away but still be in the same room. Sometimes all they need to know is that you are there for them and are listening.

Stand your ground and try to distract them from the issue.

Its normal, most toddlers start to be independent and want things their way! Wait till they get to their terrible twos!!

Hi,
I have 4 little ones (ages 3,5,6 &8) with various diagnoses (ADHD, autism, global development delay) so meltdowns and tantrums have been a big part of my life for a long time. My eldest at around 2 would have massive tantrums and my 6yo has also always had massive tantrums and meltdowns. Your little one is very young and likely unable to communicate what he wants or needs so it ends in tantrums. With mine I always sat with them (so just quietly sit near them wherever they are) and say, ‘I am here to help when you are ready’. If they hit me, threw things, attacked me ect I just calmly keep reminding that it’s not ok to hurt and try not to react. I would try and give minimal to no attention for the negative behaviour (screaming, pushing). As soon as he is calmer praise that behaviour. You can say things like, ‘I could see you were really angry, it’s ok to feel angry but it’s not ok to hurt. Mummy wants to help, can you tell me or show me what you need/want.

If you are busy you just need to say, mummy needs to do ….. but I am excited to do ….. with you once I am finished.

You can also use redirection. So if you want to sit down, tell him you are going to watch a show together and have cuddle time on the couch or ask him to bring a book and come sit with you ect.

Good luck with everything. The good thing is, for kids with no underlying issues this phase passes. This is something I still deal with unfortunately with my older kids as they have difficulty regulating.

This happened with mine as well but I would just give her a tight hug and then start tickling her so she would start laughing instead!
Hoping this works for you.

You brought back so many memories of this behaviour and I had 3 boys. They wanted me up and interacting them all the time, by my third I had really perfected the ability to ignore them. Any reaction suits them, but they soon give up when you don’t play the game. It is just a phase I think, but if you give in now to his every tantrum, you really are making a rod for your own back. Good luck, you will get there mum, it is a tough job.

I have a granddaughter a tad younger then this and she’s already started with the temper tantrums

Could be that your toddlers feels more comfortable around you as Mom.
In most cases, it is usually the mother. With moms, children feel like they can let go and express how they feel, because they believe that their mom will make it better.
See the tantrum as a way to communicate and try to find out with love and patience what triggered the tantrum