Hello!

We have been married for 10 years with two beautiful daughters.
For quite some time, me and hubby aren’t just able to spend quality time together. It’s all about the kids, work, in-laws, or something else getting in the way.

I have mentioned this to him, but we end up rescheduling, watching Netflix, or just talking about work when we are together.

Is this a problem for you? If not, what challenges are you facing?
How are you resolving it?


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  • Not really an issue for me. I have the most awesome partner and we never argue and for the most part are on the same page with things. Hes happy to hear about my work because he knows the people I am talking about and vice versa (most of them)


  • I think it tends to go that way for many of us when the kids are young. Enjoying a Netflix and talking about your day aren’t bad things. Any time spent together is a plus and these things might need talking about. Maybe try to pick a date once a month and set it firmly to go out together.


  • Everyone has different ways of managing this. We refused to talk about our work until at least we had finished our dinner once we came home and this usually meant we didn’t talk about it at all. Having a meaningful hobby together that might also include the children is another way of staying happy together too.


  • It is also important in all relationships to have individual interests and also find and enjoy mutual interests. The joy of having a mutual interest is that time is spent doing what truly makes you happy. It is worth sitting down and exploring a mutual interest and getting involved in it.


  • I think quality time together looks different depending on what stage you are at. When our children where smaller quality time for us was time to talk about anything – work, kids etc. With our children now older and doing their own thing there is less to talk about so I’m concerned about the quality of our conversations.


  • We have always booked in date nights and getaways and always followed through with them. Once date nights and getaway are booked in and established, they really do become days and times to look forward to during a week or month. The key is to talk about and agree on the things and places you like to do at these times.


  • I always find it helpful to rather than looking at frustrations look in the positives ; you may see the hard worker, a person who’s trying his best, you may see the loving father, the loving son of his parents, you may see someone who’s faithful and a helper, you may feel pride, love and respect. Speak words of affirmation and love and connect where you can.


  • I must say if my hubby was happy to sit and watch Netflix with me, I would be happy enough with that. We’ve been married for 15 years and we quite often do our own thing of a night. It is hard to spend quality time. I find the best time spent for us is when we go away for a weekend or we go hiking.


  • Trying to be kind to each other in times of frustration and lack of patience. I try to keep in mind that we are both tired and trying our best, and find moments to show love and gratitude to each other. It’s unfortunate that our significant others are the ones who bare the brunt of our exhaustion, but I’m lucky to have an understanding husband.


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