Reading your story another time. You wrote she has a possible ASD diagnosis and a possible ADHD diagnosis. First step in my opinion would be to get her diagnosis clear and have it tested. Once the diagnosis is clear, you can decide what to do in regards to treatment.I don’t know what state you’re in, but here in Qld the Autism Hub (Department of Education) is a great start for school to get advice.
https://autismhub.education.qld.gov.au/

Another thing you could ask for a referral for OT as OT can do a lot with emotion regulation.

I found it bizarre that the school bypasses you and contacts her pediatrician ! That on itself would make me very angry. The school is not one who decides about medication. You yourself and the pediatrician are the ones who decide. When the Pediatrician advises to do so and you don’t feel for that, than you’re in your good right to refuse. Only go for it when you’re ready !

Argh! you poor thing! It sounds like support is needed for you and your cherub on this journey! There are so many other options available to you out there, i hope you have lucky finding them!

I would be very reluctant to go down the medication road especially when your little girl us still do young. I would get googling and getting some second opinions. There are other things you can do besides medicate

I’m amazed the school contacts the pediatrician of you daughter about medication !! This would make me very angry too. The choice to start medication is yours, the school and your daughters pediatrician can advise but they can’t force you into starting medication when you don’t want to.
It might be good to find support of people who go through the same and can relate, like a family support group of parents with Autistic children.
I would also have a chat with the school counselor and have a chat about possible resource support to the school for you child via the Department of Education.

i find these day schools are trying to make thing easier for themselves as more things are added to what has to be taught. As I read in the other comments being frigidity can be a sign of knowing more then she has to know for that class. My gr nephew was forever taking himself to the head master to complain of how slow the children were in his Prep class. In the end he was given extra work to do then they placed him in yr one to help. His mother finally took him to another school where they taught on what is know verses what has to be learnt. My second son had problems too as his teachers had labelled him as been too quiet for year one. It was found out that he would do the work needed then retreat to the book corner to occupy himself reading. His teachers finally realised he was not behind be ahead of his class and just needed harder work to do. His older brother , I was told he was a slow child who would have problems going to and keeping up with the other children. He was 5 years old and just needed to find his way in the world, finally found with him he was not getting enough hormones but this took years and he even thought he was going insane his words. Teachers can only really deal with children of the middle range and so those in the outer edge get lost in the system. Yes get a second, third option push for what is wrong or not wrong with your child, school for some is not the place they need less structure to cope and flushes.

Trust your instincts mama and don’t let anyone pressure you into medication, not the school and definitely not the paediatrician. It’s totally your choice and your girl sounds like a very happy and healthy little soul. The school needs to look at alternative ways of keeping your girl focused and on track. I’m a mum to a boy that has severe non verbal autism and sadly I had to take him out of school and homeschool him as he wasn’t coping at school and the teachers weren’t coping with him. I’m not interested in medicating my son at his age, even though it has been suggested to me multiple times and the bottom line is as their parents it is our choice 100% if we were considering this and not because the school decided to push for it. Personally I would be upset with the school for doing this. Stay strong, you know your girl the best.xx

Are they suggesting medication for ADHD or Autism? Medication can be very effective for ADHD but there are certainly other methods/options available. There is no medication for Autism – sometimes they will prescribe medication for challenging behaviours but only when the behaviours are quite severe and it would be rare to try these before a whole range of other options are trialed first. If you are unhappy with the Paediatrician request a second opinion or another appointment with the Paediatrician who can explain why they are prescribing medication.

I am so sorry as I can not offer any real help but I am a firm believer in second or third opinions.
Try another paediatrician or go along the lines June suggested. I also feel your paediatrician should not have discussed your child with the school unless you were first notified.
You have done a wonderful job of raising your daughter by what you have described and are doing amazingly well. I wish you all the very best and hope and pray you get the answers and help you and your lovely daughter deserve. xx

Has your daughter been professionally tested for Autism? I’m not sure an Ordinary Paediatrician does that. Personally, that is the first thing I would consider. There is various types of therapy which benefit those with Autism. Does she communicate well with other people? Some tend to play alone or ony with one other child, not in a group. If your daughter doesn’t have any siblings or you don’t have relatives or friends with children around your daughter’s age it may not be obvious to you. She is probably a very bright girl and further advanced in her learning standard and bored at school. The Pediatrician should have not told the school about giving her medication until he had discussed it fully with you. I feel that is unethical…….You have done more than most parents would even consider – routine, exercise, healthy food, learning skills. She is probably ready to learn higher standard that the other kids in her class. I know a young girl who is approx. a year ahead average in reading to what most of her class is. At school they started sending her to the library while the rest of her class had reading lessions. The teacher hasn’t bothered to check how advanced since. Her parents have discovered she is having problems pronouncing some words and are helping her with that. She hates being sent to the library. She feels left out. Another girl I know of….I know her Grandma – she is one of my neighbours – has a similar problem. She was bored stiff at school and got to the stage she hated going. She could miss a week and catch up in two days. She was assessed by a child pshycologist. She had gone from year 6 straight to year 8 and is doing very well. Your daughter may be a real whiz in a very good job when she finishes school. If your daughter does have ADHD if she was my daughter I would ask for a referall to a Child Pshycologist and see if your daughter can be helped that way with counselling . If medication is the only option afterwards it should be organised by a Pshyciatrist who will talk/ give her counselling, not just medication. I don’t know if you are seeing a Peadiatrician privately or via the public system. Either way I would still ask for referalls to other professionals. Perhaps also have a talk to your family GP. Some children show ADHD tendencies after eating some food. You could try an elimination of some foods. e.g. make sure none of the ingredients you use in cooking have anything artificial in them, some react to tomatoes and other acidy food. On Talk Back Radio a Mum stated that her son reacted to potatoes (even boiled). One of the girls I worked with had a younger brother who reacted to chewing gum They always knew when somebody had given him some because he would suddenly get really hyperactive. I wish you well in getting proper definite diagnosis for your daughter. Apart from those I have given examples of above, I also have a niece with ADHD. Some medications made her worse rather than better.

My little sister in law was formally diagnosed with ADHD and Autism at 10 years old but we knew very early on by her character. She also has dyslexia and is several years behind academically despite the help she gets at home. She has a very hard time focusing and sticking to the one task, she also gets very agitated when she has something on her mind that she cannot do straight away and she lashes out because of this. My mother in law was skeptical about medication at first, but in the end it was the only way and its dramatically helped her for the better. We witnessed her brain activity with and without medication and it was a massive difference and helped her focus and achieve again. She is so much happier and brighter now she can focus and doesn’t have so much going on at once. I cannot imagine it being easy, especially because she’s so young, but there is amazing results being found everyday with kids being medicated. If you are concerned I’d see her paediatrician and discuss this.