I would pull the pin and stay home stress free

I would simply say that you can’t make it under these conditions

Just send your apologies as you can’t make it. You don’t owe them an explanation and it doesn’t sound like they are close family/friends. Stand firm and do what is right for your family. TBH it doesn’t sound like you’d enjoy it or have a good time anyway with the young kids, travelling, hiring a car and the demands on you

Who are these people to you? Like who’s wedding is it? I’d just say my husband couldn’t get the leave. Done. Save driving, petrol, your little babies stuck in a car for hours on end.. if their parents can’t fly then oh well… guess they can’t make it!

Oh wow, this post is a few months old now. I’d love to know the outcome!

It sounds like you’re in a real situation here.
Could you say that you’ve already booked the flights and they’re non refundable? That would be what I’d be saying. I’d explain that we’d discussed driving up there already and felt it would be too much trouble so opted to fly instead. If they don’t want to fly themselves, then it’s up to them to find their own way to the wedding.

Just send your apologies that you can’t make it. What happens if they close the borders again, you’d be stuck somewhere away from the rest of your children. Unless you both desperately want to go I’d let them know immediately that you won’t be able to go after all.

I don’t have an answer, but what an awful predicament. I suppose I’d just say ‘no’.

Just explain it as you have here. As soon as possible so they can make alternative arrangements. Or feign gastro the day before

Don’t do it your kids need to come first and that is just beyond rude.

Way too much stress – my other half doesn’t drive for medical reasons so it’s left to me for driving anywhere so can imagine how it would be for one driver. Its a very long drive and if you don’t have enough room in the car, they should surely understand – would they be willing to switch and drive, pay for petrol or any stopping costs (e.g. if you have to stay overnight or food stops)

How to survive the trip from hell….put 1 in law next to 1 kid, their responsibility to look after, occupy said child, then they’ll be too busy to fight. Load car up with lots of snacks, games, a wicked play list of music and if all else fails lots of liquor for those who aren’t driving so they’ll pass out and you can drive in peace.

It isn’t worth all of the stress. I would say that you are unable to attend and that you will catch up with them next year and take them to dinner (if you like them).

I wouldn’t drive that far with two young children and I’d explain there’s no way your kids would be okay join the car foe that long so if the in laws want to come they need to fly too.

Say you’ve already booked flights?

I’d use the kids as the explanation and add that expecting one person to do 12 hours of driving isnt safe on them plus the kids will hate it, which is why you’d planned to fly. Sorry but no one who values your friendship springs this on you at the 11th hour.

I’d say my partner can’t get time off work and say you can’t go lol

I would be really mean and just say that you can’t do it and I would seriously consider not going at all. I know it will be hard with your family, but sometimes you have to stick to your decision. Think about it this way, would they do the same thing for you? If the situation was reversed? I doubt it… Families are so trick and I am fairly selfish these days and just say no. It’s sometimes easier in the end, because usually these things end in tears anyways.

I don’t understand why the in-laws can’t fly? Driving such a long way is uncomfortable, expensive (the cost of fuel is at an all-time high), and potentially dangerous. If my spouse did not want to drive all that way, I would not force him to and would offer to accompany the in-laws on a flight.

No. I hate these situations where people put you in an awkard or impossible position. How dare they? I would never do that. Just say no. It doesn’t work for you. If they have a problem with it, don’t go. They are so rude to ask this of you. So rude. How dare they.