46 Answers

My friend has a five year old step-daughter in a new relationship he is in. Does anyone have any tips for my (male) friend on how to become a good step dad?

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  • If the biological dad is still on the scene, step dad may have to take a step back and be happy being a friend…….with less focus on being a dad as there already is one.

  • Just be there, listen, be attentive, get involved and let the child guide him.

  • Being a step parent can be really hard!
    The most important thing to remember is she already has a Dad.
    Your friend needs to become her friend. Don’t push her. She will come around in her own time he just needs to be patient with her. She may try to push his buttons to see how far she can push him. This is totally expected. He just needs to be firm & honest, & make sure he keeps Mum in the loop. Make sure he makes the child feel included, that he wants to get to know her & spend time with her.
    It is not going to be easy & it will take a while but it will be worth it in the end.
    What a great guy for giving it a go!
    Wishing you all the best.

  • Don’t over do it, be yourself!

  • Give her time, giver her space and don’t try too hard! Be her friend first, she already has a dad don’t push it on her

  • Be honest with the child, don’t try too hard, ask her how her day was, show interest in what she is doing. Agree with LYNSTEVEO’s comments

  • At quick glance I thought he had 5 step kids not a 5 yr old step daughter lol

  • If he is asking he sounds like a great guy. Its a hard challenge. good on him and good luck they will test him! Has he ever had kids of his own?

  • patience, understanding and don’t try and fill the shoes of dad.

  • It can’t be easy to step into that role. I really admire men who are fantastic step fathers

  • Be yourself but show that you want to spend time with them and are interested in them-wishing your friend all the best :)

  • So many great tips here already, I think most people have covered everything I would have said. Let her mother set the discipline, don’t bad mouth her real dad, be kind, loving, fun, spend one on one time with the step daughter and build a relationship with her. I hope everything is going well for him :)

  • Spend more time with your step daughter and try to be friends with her. See what she likes and play with her sometimes.

  • Be loving, listen & still a tiny bit firm.

  • I’m a step-Mum. Be a good listener and let the children know you are there for them. Take it slowly and don’t expect it to be easy from the start – it takes time to build relationships but it is so worth it!

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