10 Answers

I have a 5 year old that demands a kiss and cuddle when I leave for work. He is fine to see me go and asks are you working, but I can’t leave the house without giving him a kiss or cuddle which makes it hard when I start work @ 6:45am and I have to wake him otherwise he gets very upset and doesn’t do a thing for the babysitter. He is not only like that with me but my husband as well, the same if my mum goes to leave the house he will want at least 4-5 kisses and if he feels he hasn’t got enough he kicks up and it’s like World War 5. On more than one occasion he could hear the car start up in the morning and would run out in his PJ’s crying.

Posted by mom64232, 16th July 2014

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  • Tell him you will kiss him before you go, every time, but he might be asleep when you do it. Do you need to wake him right up to do that?
    Also, it does sound as though you both work a lot, so how about acknowledging that to him, and telling him that you understand he misses you, but you just have to go to work so it would make you feel better if he was happier. Perhaps allow him to say what he wants you to do, but be firm about 1 kiss only, and deal with his unsettled feelings. Is the babysitter supportive and fun? It is very important for you to be straight with him about when you will go, and when you will come home. That way, he can learn to trust that you will always come back.

  • One of my professors specialised in child psychology and particularly separation anxiety and she had a great idea of a kiss box. You basically get a small gift box (pocket size) and make a big deal and give it to your child and say it’s full of kisses from mum and dad and when ever he misses you or is asleep when you’ve left for work, he can open his special box and it’s you giving him a kiss. This was primarily used for 3-4 year olds but I think it’s a great concept.

  • Oh what a little sweetheart! I just borrowed a library book called no cry separation anxiety techniques

  • Tell him he can call you as soon as he wakes up and that you will always give him kisses and cuddles when you are home. It might be difficult for all involved to begin with but when he knows it works he will be happy with the new routine.

  • Try saying to him, I will leave you a note instead if you are sleeping or I will leave something special. I think it’s sweet that he wants a kiss. :)b

  • This is tough. I like the phone call suggestion and the photo suggestion too. Do you have facetime or skype on your phone? Could you do a quick skype once he’s up and ready to go? Or bedtime kisses and cuddles in advance for the morning?

  • Maybe try leaving a photo of yourself next to his bed. That way when he wakes up your there with him. Explain to him, before you do it. So very cute but yes sometimes hard

  • The kids will remember these little moments and although it is early I think a kiss and a cuddle is a precious little moment that once he grows up and may stop anytime soon you may never get back. Let him have his kiss and cuddle, assure him you will be home later and say goodbye.

  • Yes, reassurance. That you will call after his morning snack or lunch and the. After his fruit in the afternoon, you will be home, give him things to look forward to, to compensate for you not being there in the morning. It will still make him feel special.

  • Oh :-( poor little boy. Maybe just start talking to him the night before letting him know you won’t be there in the morning but maybe you will leave a special note on the fridge for him? and you will phone at a special time so you can say a special hello?!? Good Luck

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