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Hi ladies, I’m 40 and a mum to a 3.5 year old and 1.5 year old. I would dearly love to have another baby but wonder if I’m biting off more than I can chew. How do other mums find having three children under 5 as opposed to just the two? Do you find the middle child really does miss out, or does even the eldest child miss out? Is it too hard to fairly spread your attention and address each child’s needs? What are the pros and cons for you?


Posted by hystericalmum, 27th May 2014


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  • Would love to know what you decided.


  • Your children would be so close together that I don’t think you would have a problem! The middle child will love doing what their big brother or sister does. I have 3 kids 7,4 and now 6months. It’s actually not that bad… once you have 2 you don’t notice the difference having three!


  • Is it because you really want another baby? or just hearing tic toc of biological clock. be careful of rash moments of cluckiness..this is another whole life. . will your pregnancy go smoothly..Just have a real think about it with your head aswell as heart.


  • A friend of mine was thinking of this dilemma like yourself ( 3 or not ) and I knew she really wanted a girl . I said only God decides the sex so ask yourself if you will be happy if it will be a boy. So she went ahead and had a girl ( but really that want the main issue ). She is healthy , that’s all it matters. She has been a stay at home mum with all of them and her hub has a good job . But having said that , the “lifestyle ” is not really the same as before.
    eg more attention for the 3rd, more expenses , and hub wants to renovate and luckily she has a casual job working from home. So in her case the main issue is finances , and her boys don’t care much as she is a girl anyway . I think its best to ask would you like more children in the household rather than thinking so much because it doesn’t matter how many , problems will arise regardless . Good luck !


  • Hi there, I had my last bub (number 3) at 40, it was hard work but I would not have changed a thing. The fact that you are even asking the question tells me you would like another baby. If you are healthy and happy enough to do it, I would say “do” because its a long life and living it ‘wishing you had’ would be a shame. My ‘middle child’ is the most chilled boy you could meet, we even joke about the middle child all the time. You will feel that you are not being fair with your time, but that is not really a bad thing for the kids because life does not stop and attend to their needs immediately. But they learn from family life about patience and sharing and giving and also nurturing their own siblings can be applied to the outside world. You could even feel that way with 2 children, but your heart grows with each addition. Children don’t always need perfection in relationships, they need the best you can give and if sometimes its a struggle then you can show them that it is possible to get through tough times, which is a good lesson in itself. My eldest has just added his two pennies worth while I’m typing this, but that would be for another day. We are all different so, good luck with whatever you decide.


  • Personally I think you are chewing off more than you can chew .. Seeing as your youngest one is still a baby .. At 40 Id be afraid I wouldnt be able to keep up with the hectic life that 3 kids under 5 would bring .. But again you go with what your heart tells you and good luck xx


  • I had four children under 4 when I was young, they are all adults now, I found each extra child would just fit in it didn’t really make things heaps harder as you really had to just do it anyway for the others and you are more relaxed with each new child because you have the experience of the others. I started fostering young children when mine were teenagers and have been doing so constantly without a break for over 20 years, caring for many children, the most I have had at any one time is 12. I am currently 54 years of age and still look after 6 children aged, 10, 9, 5,4, 15 months and 14 months. I believe if you have the heart for it and it fits with your familys plans then you can make it work no worries at all, but it needs to be something that you believe in your heart and mind is the right thing for your family.


  • I don’t think 40 is an issue if you are in good health. 40 these days is the new 30.
    I have three children. You will always find time for the older two and I believe a mum of five will always find time for her older 4. I wouldn’t worry about that. There are so many ppl on the planet with more than 1 child. Those children are all loved. We automatically spread our time and love. Imagine Christmas in years to come? I think lots of children (who in time become lots of adults) is a blessing and makes a family even more.


  • I don\’t think 40 is an issue if you are in good health. 40 these days is the new 30.
    I have three children. You will always find time for the older two and I believe a mum of five will always find time for her older 4. I wouldn\’t worry about that. There are so many ppl on the planet with more than 1 child. Those children are all loved. We automatically spread our time and love. Imagine Christmas in years to come? I think lots of children (who in time become lots of adults) is a blessing and makes a family even more.


  • I think it’s all up to you if you go for number 3 or not. You seem to be well aware of any possible problems from having 3 children, that’s a massive step when it comes to managing it. Hats off to you for going for 3……and at age 40! Amazing, I am in awe!


  • It all depends on u how u feel at 40 some people at 40 have more energy than a 30 yr old if that’s what u want go for it don’t live with regrett


  • I think if everything is right and balanced and your healthy, then why not!


  • It’s a constant challenge to meet everyone’s needs; but it’s also wonderful to watch the relationships between the kids growing. It’s really tough sometimes, but I’ve found it wonderfully worthwhile to have three little ones (all under five when the last was born).


  • 40 is ok 50 is pushing it. Do be aware though the older the mother the more chance the child wont be healthy.


  • I think that whilst at the beginning, having kids so close together it is a little hard and tiring, but think of when they are a little older and how much fun and joy you will get from all of them. As for the age, who is one to judge. If it’s what you want then go for it. Heaps of mothers have children in their 40’s!!


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