As an older mother and having used controlled crying on my own 6 children ranging from toddler to adults. I would like to know is this method no considered outdated. Controlled crying for those that do not know it is letting your child cry and then check on them, make sure they are ok, do not pick up and then add another minute to the next time and repeat, so a longer time waiting each time. My daughter in law says this is harmful to the baby, I suggested she do this with my grand daughter as she can not get her to sleep or to be left on her own i.e put her down so she can do something. Just wondering if this is now considered wrong for children. My grand daughter is 5 months old and I watched on Saturday as mummy spent 6 hours trying to get an over tired child to sleep.


Posted by youngoldlady, 20th January 2015


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  • it’s not outdated, and if you go to many of the sleep schools, this is exactly what they do.



  • I think it’s worth a try for a five month old.



  • I recently found out that when babies continue crying they gasp in air and that increases discomfort. You need to put babies down before they get too tired. Don’t excite them before putting them to bed and make them too alert.



  • I think kids are especially needy now as they are bought up in care – no judgement I assure you, but that’s my thoughts…. My son is 23 and his mates that have kids are really not spending much time with parents – parents are too busy with home loans, car loans, credit cards and the stresses of it all, the kids sorta miss out x



  • I did a similar controlled crying with my girl when she was about 10 or 11 months old. I would always double check if she needed a new nappy or food if she was crying/ grizzling. If she got really worked up I would pick her up, calm her and try again.

    It worked for my girl and she started sleeping through without a feed after a couple of nights. I can’t say that I have seen any negatives side effects.

    I guess it depends on the child and parent.



  • It is now not recommemded but many mums do it out off desperation



  • We used Tizzie Halls Save our Sleep and loved it. We started with our first born when he was 1, that was the hardest. then with our next children we started when they were born and never had a problem. IT was a great way to ensure bubs and mum both had a decent sleep which I think is so very very important and totally undervalued.



  • i couldn’t do this as i thought that my child is trying to let me know that they want me for comfort and that broke my heart



  • I co-slept with my children. If they slept during the day, it was usually in the lounge room so they could know where I was if they woke up, and I had no issues getting them to sleep.

    My friend does controlled crying methods, however she always has a hard time getting her children to sleep when they were babies/toddlers, and still now. They even have a strict routine for meals, play & sleep.

    Each to the own really, I have no issue with those that control crying methods, and strict routines, however I never had any issues with my own children – like those that use those methods.



  • sounds like me! im sure its still practised and takes time for baby and mum to get used to. I think after 6 months is ok. im hoping to try something like this soon. its so hard emotionally though.



  • I’m interested in this question too. I tried it with my first, with limited success. With my second tried it, she vomited all over the cot and never did it again. I don’t think I would use the technique again, if I had my time over.



  • I always check to see if my children did have problems and the control bit would never last longer then 15 mins. My grand daughter is demand BF and this was not a one off thing either. My son the baby’s father has tried this when his wife has been worn out and sleeping and says he tried but does not want to see his daughter cry so much or wake his wife up. I know only some people can do this, even putting her into a baby carrier should help. There is a differences between a baby in pain and a tired one. I would never let a baby or child cry if they were in pain. This happens even when the mother is on her own. On Australia Day she asks how we could put up with the crying and said if we know she is not hurt, then it is simple to sooth her plus it lets the parents know if we try to take off with her. I have been told I have had my children and should not be burden with this one even her own mother has been told this. I now just hold my mouth and watch her struggle knowing that anything I say is taken as interference. My youngest are twins 15 months old so not too much out of the loop.



  • Some say it is bad. For one thing a baby is probably inflicting his/herself with a sore throat and is going to cry even more and in distress. Some babies get colic and it takes a lot of experimenting with some to get them to release the wind. I was a seriously bad colic baby.
    Sometimes I would cry and wouldn’t burp. In desperation Mum would give me another feed, I would burp and be asleep within a few minutes. Sometimes Dad could feel the “knot” of wind in my stomach, push one finger on it gently and I would burp or “pass”it. Can you tell the difference between a tired baby cry and a hungry cry, or a combination of both?? Some Mums can, others can’t. Some babies won’t sleep with certain people around. I know one baby girl that wouldn’t go to sleep if her Auntie turned up before she did. She had a heart of gold but was very boisterous. Possibly she was scared of her voice and body language. Believe me babies pick up on it. I have witnessed it with my Auntie and one of her grandchildren. In warm atmosphere the baby may not actually be hungry but thirsty and might settle with a little cooled boiled water. Also so is the baby being demand fed or timed fed. Babies sometimes get hungrier earlier than others. You have to take into consideration when a baby is going through a sudden growth stage. Could the baby be teething? They don’t all teeth at the same age. Sometimes a singlet on a baby rolls up their back and it would be like lying on a lump in your back. One Mum I know uses sleeveless or short sleeved all in ones with no legs in them under other clothing instead. She has a friend who has used that method with all her children after she realised that the singlet was the problem. Some babies also cry if they wet their nappy and it feels damp against their skin, especially if they have nappy rash or excema. If they have runny bowels thart burns their skin and makes it sore. Even with proper treatment it can take a day or two to settle down and not be so sore. Think how sore your bottom can get if you get the “runs”.
    You need to consider any problems before you even consider controlled crying.
    My younger brother got tonsillitis every time he got a new tooth. Some babies are prone to ear infections no matter how fussy the parents are. Natural instinct for a sick baby is more crying. They can’t tell you if they are in pain.


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