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10 Answers

I gave up work when I had my children and was a stay at home mum and didn’t return to work due health issues with myself. Now my kids are not kids anymore they are adults and have moved out. I am a empty nester now and I am feeling so lost.


Posted by SpiritMum, 9th March 2022


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  • My sons only 5 but I’m feeling you.. is there anything you want do to? Hobbies? Anything you want to study? My answers to that is nothing aswell. Do you want more kids? You could foster? Maybe you could move somewhere else, start a life in another state or country?

    Sorry for the weird answer… feeling lost sucks. You don’t know what to do with your life and you feel like you don’t have a purpose which can be soooo depressing! I hope you find your way!!


  • I can remember feeling that over whelming emptiness when the last of my 3 sons left home, but not long after I had the joy of looking after my first grandchild once a week & then the other 5 grandchildren came along & within 6 years my home was full again with love & laughter of a different kind! My heart is full to the brim again!


  • Sadly I hear that this is very common :( .Maybe you could try something new? Do you have any interests?

    i am not an empty nester but I was feeling like i had nothing special just for me so I joined an art course just to get some zing back in my life. I am happy at home so it is an online course that i can do at my own pace.


  • They will always need you, just in a different way. Be there in the way they need, stay in touch however that is (technology, short visits, phone call, letter etc.), watch from a distance (letting them know you are still interested in them) and be prepared to give them space for their own lives when it just gets too busy for them to checkin. It’s not a personal rejection, just life. It would also be good to get yourself busy with your own interests (as your health allows). And throwing out any rose tinted glasses helps too, in case you ‘romanticise’ any past years and make them seem better than what you have now, and the changes you have to be right now.


  • I know how you feel, the empty nester part that is. What a wonderful life we have had; watching our children learn and grow into beautiful people. But, the day comes when they leave home, mine have also. At first it seemed strange, but as time went by, I grew to love life again, as it was now. I now watch my children make their lives in the world, and it is just the next chapter in life. I have since, and still do, have new little ones to watch grow and learn, that’s the grandchildren. I went back to work for some years, but have now given that up and found new passions, new hobbies. I am studying travel, I have been doing family history for years, learning about our past. Give yourself time to adjust, after all, you have spent a large part of your life being there for your children, now it is your time.


  • You never know, your kids might be ready to have kids soon then you’ll be a grandma and your heart and home won’t feel as empty as it does now.
    Enjoy the time to yourself as I often think it never lasts.
    Maybe you can find a new hobby and join a group who meet up regularly to engage in it and form some new friendships.


  • Sounds like you need to find yourself again! What do ( or did) you love to do? There are so many groups out there that you can join doing just about anything and they are all great for social interaction as well. Or, maybe try some volunteer work. It always makes you feel good to give some of your time to those who need it.


  • In response of tinamaree; I would be careful with starting foster care with motivation of empty nest. It’s not the right motivation as it’s based on your own needs to fill your own gap. It should be the other way around, the foster child needs you (not you the foster child).


  • If you’re really down, see a counsellor.
    If you’re still spry and energetic, and in good health, you could look into foster care – humans or animals – or get a pet.
    Take a short course, join a club, start a small business. Your possibilities are endless.


  • I can imagine it’s hard but my first thought is “time to find a different purpose in life”. Look around, plenty of places that need volunteers or start a study at tafe


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