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My son is 3 months old and because he’s our first we love to carry him. So eventually he has gotten used to being carried to sleep. This along with patting his bum and swaying. He’s getting harder and harder not to mention heavier to get to bed now. He also uses a pacifier to get him to sleep. Unless if he’s in a deep sleep the pacifier falls out without a problem but if he is still half awake and It falls out he then wakes up looking for it. I do the usual when he wakes which is eat, play, sleep and he goes down easy but now I think it’s time to get him to put himself to sleep. I don’t know whether to stop with the pacifier first or just go straight to trying to sleep on his own. If anyone has some useful suggestions please help me out. Thanks in advance.


Posted anonymously, 16th April 2014


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  • Wow, sorry but im so glad I’m not the only One going thru this!!!


  • patience, patience, patience. he will get it eventually. you may have to let him cry it out a little.


  • don’t take the dummy away. but do get him use to going to bed on his own in the day at first, where you can pop in and out to replace the dummy. he will soon get use to this … you have to be stronger.


  • The no cry sleep solution book is a great gentle guide for getting little ones to adjust to sleeping on their own.


  • I would encourage settling in bed without swaying and holding maybe wrapping during the day first. I have been to sleep specialist workshop and she told us that sleep problems with children are habit based. Break the habit and the sleep will improve but it challenging for several days/weeks to break the habit. Patience is the key.


  • Do you wrap him? I found wrapping and also having a warm bed to put them into helped mine ( I used a hot water bottle in their bassinette and cot in the colder months just to warm it slightly and TAKE OUT when I put them in)


  • Don’t be in a hurry …. try this during the day to get him to go to bed without you holding him …. after feed burp and play watch to see that he is really really tired … let him have the dummy …. if he cries let him do this for only a few mins don’t go straight in there as he knows you are. This is the hardest thing to do but has great rewards at the end. you have to be stronger than the baby :)


  • My baby is 11 months now and sleeping on his own has been a hit and miss. It’s heart breaking to hear them cry themselves to sleep, so we couldn’t do it. We give him a short amount of time to try on his own, then one of us would save him and help him get to sleep. End of the day you need to do what you are comfortable with.


  • He is only 3 months, still so tiny. Just relax. Do what ever you are confortable with. With my son, I would put him down with his pacifer and walk out of the room (I would actually time it with putting a load on the clothes line, cause i couldnt handle listening to him cry”. In the begining it was very hit and miss, Some days, nights he would go straight to sleep then next cry for a while, which i would end up going in. Just relax it still early days. You could go to a sleep school during the day, just to get some advice and see what you are comfortable with. Also some concils or hospitals run similar programs.


  • Whatever you decide to do just remember that the baby time is such a short period if their lives. In the blink of an eye you’ll have a teenager. Enjoy this time you have, especially the cuddles and snuggles.


  • When our son was a little baby I would sing him to him in the cot and he would soon be asleep, lol! As a toddler when really tired he would climb up on the lounge and fall asleep in my arms then my husband would carry him off to bed. Our daughter would just disappear, climb into her cot and put herself to sleep. Babies are all different, don’t stress and you will find what works for you. Enjoy the closeness while you can.


  • Establishing a bedtime routine is a great idea. I don’t see the problem with using a pacifier – unless they have a string or cord attached to them (hazard there). Both my kids did, and by the age of 2 1/2, they were off them. Creating a calm atmosphere, without your little one feeling rushed is a good idea too.


  • You just have to decide which one to start with and be consistent for at least two weeks. I would just put him down I his cot with his dummy and walk away. He will get the hang of it.


  • My son was like this and by 5 months he was able to self settle we just kept trying my daughter is 3 months nd reliant but also has had tummy and reflux problems she however won’t take a dummy. I am not going to force the issue it isn’t like you will have to rock them for ever I don’t know any 3 yer olds who need to be rocked to sleep we will just let our daughter do it when it comes naturally doesn’t bother me so I will let her do it in her own time, but if you really re bothered by it create a routine and be consistent, some kids will easily self settle some won’t and relly need to be taught


  • I’m struggling also with this and my son has just turned 8 months. He had lots of tummy problems so I could never put him down when he was tiny because he was so uncomfortable. Pretty much slept upright on me till we sorted out the problem. Around 4 months I was able to cuddle him to sleep and put him down but he found it difficult to go into a deep sleep. I still now cuddle him to sleep and then put him down. He originally needed rocking and patting and I was trying to figure out how to eventually get out of that cycle so I took it in steps of cuddling him to sleep with out the rocking and just patted, and then gradually eliminated the patting too so he just got a cuddle. Also wrapping helped heaps because as they get older they thrash. It helps them feel secure too if you put them down. This is my first too and I am going thru all the “I should be doing this and that and he should be self settled by now and why can he fall asleep on his own”. Someone once told me that you need to do whatever you have to in order to survive those first few months. They are only little once and enjoy your cuddles while you can. I love my sleep times with him cause it give me a chance to have a cuddle and also sit down for a while. Hope you find a solution soon :-)


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