36 Answers

My 22yr old daughter is living at home, being completely supported. I have bought “everything” for the baby due in 6 weeks. She is in an unsure relationship, (very insecure). She takes everything I have done for granted, lies or withholds “just stuff”. She does nothing around the house to help and treats me with disdain like I am the enemy. How do I hold everything together, when all I want to do is cry and tell her off?

Posted anonymously, 11th February 2014

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  • Sounds like a bit of tough love is needed. But tread carefully with a baby due

  • This would be all sorted by now. I would love to know how it all turned out. Did the daughter turn over a new leaf and realise how good she’s got it with mum? Did she move out yo be with the partner? Is she on her own but on good terms with mum? Did she walk out after baby was born and leave it with mum to raise? So many different ways it could have gone …..

  • argh its a hard situation , just wishing you luck!!

  • Wow how many women would love to have a Mum like you!
    Your daughter may be doing this due to hormones, however you have bent over backwards to help her & it’s not going to kill her to be a little bit appreciative!
    Do not let her take advantage of your kindness!
    Your daughter needs her space, as do you, but while she is living under your roof, adult or not, she needs to be respectful.
    Pregnant or not she can help out (unless a doctor has ordered her to bed rest or light duties). There is no point in being lazy or she will be in for a big shock when it comes time to deliver!
    Stop giving her everything & doing everything for her & see how she goes. Hopefully she will realize just how much you do do for her & start appreciating you a bit more!
    I hope there is a dramatic improvement, before & after baby arrives.
    Best of luck & congratulations on becoming a Nanna :)

  • Good reading the comments there really quite interesting!

  • Dr PHIL would say you are an enabler. You think you’re helping your daughter, but what you’re really doing is showing her it’s ok to behave like this. She needs some tough love

  • Hope it worked out for you 2. She sounds lucky to have you and you sound like her rock. Sometimes when people cant help themselves they become defensive and feel judged, even if they aren’t. Certainly sounded like she wasn’t in a good place and nothing going right for her, hope time has healed all this

  • Hope everything is going well and you’ve managed to work how to live well together. It’s not an easy time or situation, but you sound like a great nanny!

  • Please remember she is now a very heavily pregnant woman with crazy hormones and emotions. Maybe a write a letter and give her some space to process explain how it’s making you feel but try and be as nice as you canl we all need our mums.

  • just reading this now. hope all is going well for you guys. people change once the baby arrives. hopefully for the better. but she should be respecting you and hopefully matured.

  • I would be telling her how it is, she is in for a hard road other wise

  • I feel so sorry for you!

  • I would tell her how you feel, she is not being very nice

  • don’t hold it together, I would be telling her off

  • I think you need to speak to her about how you are feeling. I think she will appreciate you a lot more once her little one arrives. She might finally have an appreciation of what mother’s do!

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