10 Answers

It’s hit so quickly. The happy girl I adore is miserable. She sees councillor at school, told me so I’m very thankful she’s open. But what do I do. She’s not wanting to be outside, feels low, can’t sleep.

Posted anonymously, 4th July 2019

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  • My girl went from being able to walk into a room and demand everyone’s attention to having low self esteem. It doesn’t help that all of her friends are girls and girls can be nasty! She’s just gone into year three and is quite often told by her “friends” that she’s not welcome to play with them because they don’t have to play with her! She’s got such attitude towards everyone at home and has become nasty herself! I think it’s a coping mechanism for her to protect herself, but also may be the reason that her friends tire of her from time to time! So basically I have no advice, sadly. It may just be a normal transition for young girls.

  • It can happen so quickly! It’s good that you’re seeking professional help and that she talks to you. Try to keep those channels of communication open and encourage her to get some exercise.

  • Thanks so much for all these answers. And I’m glad my daughter could talk to me. I’ve ordered some essential oils for the household. Bought her a few nice things.
    She did get her period at ten ! And hormonally it is hard! Thankyou for advice I’m doing it all.
    I’ve started Saint Johns Wort once a day capsule for her.

  • Sadly it’s the pressure these children live under with social media etc. Also hormones are changing and it can be confusing times for her. Make sure she;s medically okay with blood tests etc and just be supportive. She will eventually return to the happy child you know. Just hang in there.

  • I can totally relate. My tween – isn’t herself either.

    For sleep I highly recommend lavender essential oils, change her bed time routine for something more relaxing. Get her some new pj’s or bed socks something to make her feel comfy and in a sleep inducing setting.

    With regards to doing outside things – my husband forces my daughter’s hand with this. She would much rather be inside watching youtube or gaming, so when she gets in that rut my husband takes her out for the day. It normally starts of with an arguement from her as to why she can’t/doesn’t want to go, then after they have gone she settles down and actually enjoys what ever they go and do – sometimes he hires a boat and takes her fishing, or they go kayaking or horseriding. So while she argues and gets grumpy at the start, if he didn’t force her hand she would never have done these things and she actually enjoys it but being a tween she doesn’t want us to know that lol!

    We don’t eat a lot of red meat so when i notice that she is lethargic, pale and emotional I normally get her stuck into a big feed of red meat – normally a medium rare steak which perks her up, so i need to constantly watch her iron levels and ensure she is getting red meat.

    Also at this time, their hormones are crazy, their brains are constantly worrying about how they look and what other’s think of them and all the stuff that goes on at schools besides school work – makes them very confused, emotional and I find my daughter withdraws for a bit so she can try to process it herself. When she has been withdrawn long enough (in my opinion) I normally step in and ask her what’s up and after a few days of asking she will eventually tell me what’s on her mind that has been stressing her out – it’s normally something really little but to her it is such a big deal until she actually talks to someone who puts it in perspective for her.

    Just know your not alone, and I wish you and your daughter all the best during the teenage years

  • It could be a nutritional thing, go to a doctor and have her vitamins and minerals checked, make sure she is getting enough fresh fruit and veggies. I really believe in the connection of health, body and well being. If she does not eat enough fruit and veggies, try making smoothies or get some good quality organic immune boosting powders. Spirulina is good too to clean out toxins in the liver which can effect depression etc. Read Anthony Williams book Liver Rescue.

  • Some good quality sleep will start her back on the right path. Maybe she needs a full blood work check up with your dr too? It might be hormonal or something like low iron that can be easily addressed.

  • Mental health issues can really hit teenagers hard and is a big issue at hand these days. As long as your aware of her current mental health, which is good and positive. Addressing these issues and gaining supports at the school and the local community is vital for her and yourself. This is also difficult for us parents to deal with too in our own busy lives. Remember you not alone, and many of us have had this experience and have come out the other end healthy and happy. Just research and get the support you need during this time.

  • Firstly, it is great that she has someone to talk to. Secondly I think she may be feeling unsure about the changes in her body even if they don’t appear physical. Her brain will be going thru alot of changes chemically as well. She may not be aware of why she is feeling the way she does. It can be very overwelming for her. Also if there are physical changes, this also can be an image problem she is having, Friends compare things at this age and if something is happening to a friend that is not yet happening to her could make her feel like she does not fit in with the others and she may be feeling that something is wrong with her. There is so much peer pressure these days and the media and social media does not help the situation.
    Maybe a trip to a nice female doctor that is experienced in young girls may be the trick so she can ask questions and get professional answers in a way that she may understand
    Lastly, just be there for her and try to reassure her that she is beautiful and that you are there if she needs her Mum. <3

  • I think it’s quite normal with teenagers. It’s already good that she told you about the school counselor, it means that she trusts you. Don’t put any pressure on her in my idea. Be there for her, but don’t make a big deal about it. Try to go on with your normal family life. Generally routine means security. So she can see her home as “her safe place”. I hope that slowly you will have your old daughter back. :-)

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