7 Answers

My 8 year old son seems to be going through either hormonal changes or just has a constant changing attitude. He is a real good boy most of the time but lately he is back chatting or getting into trouble by doing really silly things and I am at my wits end. All our punishments just don’t seem to be having the effect we want and I am just not sure what else to do. Any suggestions?

Posted anonymously, 25th May 2015

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  • Consistency is the key If you have a set punishment stick to it and let him know that nothing will change unless he changes his attitude.

  • I hope you were able to work things out with your son.

  • I would have a long talk with him to find out what’s going on with him. Has something changed at home or at school. If you can’t get to the bottom of the problem, let him know that you are always there to listen and to help out with anything that is bothering him.

  • Sounds like he is testing the waters and seeing how far he can get before he gets in trouble. Don’t let him ‘Win’ by giving in to him but rather, try and talk to him after everyone has calmed down. I think this is a difficult phase that a lot of kids will grow through.

  • Time out is the best way to deal with these outbursts, it gives you both time to calm down. When the time out is up talk to your child about their behaviour, that it isn’t acceptable & you will not allow it to happen. Be firm & consistent, good luck!

  • To be honest my 9 year old daughter has been like this for the past year, I cannot say its going to get better. Lately when she back-chats me or my husband I say to her “You might want to think about the way you are speaking, there is a nicer way to say what you want” It did not work to start with, but after a while she has started changing her tone of voice and is a lot quicker to apologise. If she doesn’t change the way she is speaking or continues the rudeness she loses priveleges, (currently she is serving 1 week without TV or the laptop for a massive tantrum where she wouldn’t stop being rude). I always chat with her when she has calmed down too to advise her why I punished her. This has slowed the behavior down but not stopped it. She has said to me a few times, mum I know sometimes when I am doing it that it is wrong, but I cannot seem to stop myself. I think it is important to encourage self awareness and responsibility for the actions, however also to understand that at this age they can barely control their feelings.

  • Your son sounds like he is getting to the stage of pushing the boundries, he is also getting you upset. My sons specilist told us not to lash out in anger annoyance nagging etc back at the kids as thats just a adult version of a childs tantrum( i luaghed when they said that but latter elised they were right). It is very hard not to do when they have pushed you so far. But we have tried this and it has worked just keep up all the ways you are currently doning and stay consistant dont ever give in. Dont let him win as everytime you do he is going to push that little bit more next time. Goodluck

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