16 Answers

I go to a community playgroup and have done so since my little one was about 4 months old, at its core its a great group but its getting a little like a school yard with cliques and splinter groups forming. Do I just move on and stick with my own core group or try and make the large group work? Its a real shame as all the kids get along wonderfully! How do I deal with snobby playgroup mums?

Posted anonymously, 20th November 2014

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  • Just stick to your own group and if it starts getting bad then maybe move on.
    People get like that in life and honestly some never grow out of that high school behaviour. And don’t stress as your child will grow up and eventually go to school and make other friends.
    Good luck with it all.

  • This will happen throughout life – at school, at work, even on group holidays. People tend to migrate to like-minded people. Enjoy the company you have and don’t worry too much about others.

  • Use it as a teaching experience for your little one that not everyone gets along

  • Just stick with the ones you feel most comfortable with, the ones you like the most, avoid being hurt

  • Yep, I would say ignore the unpleasant mums as well and focus on the pleasant ones. Walk away from it and find another group when the unpleasant mums take it all over and there is no space left for the more positive group of mums.

  • I would say just ignore them.
    I went to a play group for a couple of sessions, ended up not going back. The mums were quite nasty and very judgmental, I just couldn’t be bothered with it all. I left high school a long time ago and didn’t feel like going back!

  • Don’t.
    You can still be nice & associate with the snobby Mums for the sake of the children but stick with your main group of friends. It’s a shame becoming a parent doesn’t make some Mum’s mature but don’t let it bother you.
    I’m sure you have a wonderful circle of friends who share your feelings & interests.
    It would be wonderful if everyone could get along fabulously but unfortunately it doesn’t happen & I’m sure its the same in every play group, kindergarten & school.

  • Just hang out with the normal mums… I am sure that there are mums that feel the same

  • It’s like work, or your own social activities or school. Some people just click better with others because they share similar interests, have similar lives, go to the same places etc. I wouldn’t take it personally. Just enjoy your core group of friends in the play group and act courteously towards everyone else. Don’t let it get to you.

  • Ignore the snobby mums, stick with the ones that you know, eventually the snobby ones will get sick of bitching and move on, especially if they see that their behaviour is not affecting anyone. If it really get to you and is affecting your enjoyment and health I would move on as it is not worth fighting battles that you can not win, but these sort of people are everywhere.

  • Don’t waste your time worrying about negative people and their attitudes. Let what’s natural happen,the people you mesh with and don’t create these silly scenarios are likely to be people who you will get along better with and have similar outlooks and ideas in the long term, rather than having a semi forced type of friendship, where things are uncomfortable etc

  • Unfortunately you find that in a lot of places including sports events even if your children are in the same team. My parents found that difficult because weren’t just snobby they were down right rude. When I was in my early teens I could see what was happening and I actually withdrew from one. Some objected because it meant our parents weren’t providing transport to “away” matches and somebody else had to do their part instead of taking others for granted. Although we were also friends at school I still wanted it to stay that way but some of the other players completely ignored me after that so it just proved they weren’t true friends. There had also been some critisim when Mum arranged alternative transport when It was her Auntie’s 80th birthday and she went to her place to cater for afternoon tea with her eldery relatives and friends who preferred not to venture out at night. I still went and played though…….My sibling later gave up a different interest for the same reason. Neither of us were old enough to hold a driver’s license and not all events were on practical bus routes. We had another activity in the morning so we didn’t have time to catch 2 buses to get to some of the locations by 1.00pm

  • I would ignore the snobby mums and stick with mums that I get along with.

  • I think you should just stick with who you click best with. Don’t care about other mums, they have obviously found enough friendships. Just worry about yourself. Do what makes you feel good about yourself. And don’t worry about the kids, because, well, kids are kids and they do much better than you think at getting along. If you watch your children playing, you will notice they prefer to play with certain kids. That’s fine, cos we are like that too. If those kids mums are not already in your group of friendships, then try to include them. And be casual about it, no one likes to be forced into a friendship, just because.

    Personally, I prefer small groups of friendships, and get lost in large groups. So I’m happy with try small group of women that I know and am friendly with.

    Good luck! Chin up! Be strong, be happy!

  • Some people like that. Having their familiar people and not letting other’s in. Petty and childish, but, it takes all kinds to make the world. I would more on, but, keep in touch with the ones your child/ren get along with. Many even breaking away from the large group. You, don’t need to go through that just because of the kids. At the end of the day you have to have a good time as well, not just the kids.

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