14 Answers

My husband had a high paying job and at the start of the year, he was made redundant. Since that time he has struggled to find another job. He has many qualifications and it appears at times he may be too qualified. In any event, the last couple of months, he has been working at a company, not doing what he loves or wants to do, but merely earning money to cover our mortgage, bills, school fees etc. Anyway, this week, the company has announced it will be closing its doors as they have been going under for some time and are not able to make it work. My husband is spiralling into depression. We have a good, happy, solid marriage, but he feels he is failing in his role as the provider. I try to talk to him, but he gets angry or just shuts down the conversation quickly. I am so proud of him for all he has achieved and in no way blame him for the financial situation we are in. I just don’t know how to support him through this tough time. I admit, it’s hard to see light at the end of the tunnel.

Posted by mom143044, 4th November 2015

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  • Another very old question that has popped up. Strange that now a lot of people have lost their jobs and there might be a lot of career changes coming in the future.

  • It’s extremely hard to go through losing a job. The only thing I can really suggest is honestly just to be there for him And try and make home life as easy as possible for him

  • I’m sorry to hear this. Are there any men’s shed or men’s clubs around you that might be able to fill his time and give him some support

  • Contribute as much as you can to take the pressure off him. Talk, that’s always useful. And professional help us a must

  • How are things going? Hope your husband has found a job and your marriage is still strong.

  • i think that you do need to have a decent convo and talk about what is happening. you need to plan your next move. good luck

  • I find it is always a confronting issue for males as work is always associated with ego , personal achievement etc. It sounds like perhaps his skills is related to an industry that is always changing . It has nothing to do with him and of course if he has depression , he will ignore that statement . I would encourage him to seek help if you find a sudden change in him and talk to a doctor or counsellor etc. It is always good to pick symptoms up early and get it treated asap. Hope you both find support soon .

  • Oooohhhh,much a difficult one to answer but a situation that needs attention before things go too far and can’t feel turned around. I would continue trying to talk to him, maybe rope in family or close friends who may help

  • My husband has been through this as well, and it gets harder to find a job the older you are. It’s a very confronting situation and there are no easy solutions. In our case we tried to stay positive and kept looking for work. It took several months but eventually and thankfully he found work. I really do wish your husband success in finding another job.

  • Just be there for him. Don’t bring it up, just help try and keep him motivated to get out of bed even =)

  • have you spoken to your local GP – we had some similar issues The GP was great and very supportive providing options and referral to further services.

  • This is such a horrid situation that is the life of many at the moment. We are in same boat – 2 redundancies in under 2 years. As much as he might not want to, using contacts can help – try to get him to reach out to other old work colleagues. contracting and consulting are also options. He will be feeling horrid. Hope something comes up soon.

  • Does your husband enjoy reading? Borrow some books from the library on redundancy and depression and get him to read them, it may help. Also, it would be good for him to see a counsellor to discuss his redundancy, depression and feelings.

  • It’s hard indeed. It happened the same to my husband some years ago. His position was made redundant and, after 11 years working for the same company, he was without a job. It was a terrible time. It took him 11 months to find another job. And it was never as good as the one he had before. It was hard on our relationship too. It’s difficult indeed to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But somehow try to be positive, be by his side. I tried to go on as usual, taking care of the house and of our daughter. Hoping that living in the usual environment wasn’t putting any more stress on his life.

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